


not fair

by toriiixoox



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Blow Jobs, But here it is, Cheating, Choking, Degradation, Dirty Talk, Doggy Style, Dom/sub Undertones, F/M, Face Slapping, Face-Fucking, Face-Sitting, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Porn With Plot, Riding, Rough Sex, Squirting, a chapter fic, and now, but im still gonna mention it, i cant stress it enough about the cheating ok its big time plot, i didnt wanna do yams this dirty ok but also im not apologizing, it was just supposed to be pwp, that goes without mentioning, the smut starts almost instantly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:08:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 27,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25523380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toriiixoox/pseuds/toriiixoox
Summary: Tsukishima Kei is the only person in the entire world that you trust enough to tell everything, even your relationship issues with Yamaguchi. Tadashi is an //amazing// boyfriend, really, he is. He's incredibly sweet, kind, and caring, but he just... he can't satisfy you.Alternately: Tsukki was not expecting you to tell him that Yamaguchi has only made you come twice in all the time you've been dating or you needing him to do something about it.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Reader
Comments: 51
Kudos: 363





	1. ch 1. "i don't know if you can handle me"

**Author's Note:**

> look i wasn't going to post this but here i am. it's one of my fav smut pieces I've ever written so. have fun w it i GUESS. it wasn't supposed to have a plot, but now it does *confetti emoji*. I'm obsessed with this fic so I'm writing it constantly. hope you all enjoy!
> 
> this is lowkey inspired by the song not fair by lily allen. highly recommend it.
> 
> (also ok there is lowkey mentions of unconscious fucking if that is no bueno for you then pls don't read or just proceed w caution i didn't tag it as noncon because everything is very consented and stated but wasn't sure if that would be iffy for some, so i thought id mention it. if anyone thinks i should tag then pls lmk its just some real rough degrading bs ok but its all consensual so)

It wasn’t unusual for Kei to be over while Tadashi was out of town. It happened quite frequently, actually. You two were best friends, even before Tadashi was in the picture. You never let anything come between you two, not even Tadashi. Tadashi understood too. He was never jealous of the time that you spent together or accusing towards the two of you and flirting remarks you would pass. You and Kei were just… well, you and Kei.

But tonight was different. Tonight, you were in yours and Tadashi’s bedroom, which wasn’t the unusual part. Tonight, you were both on the bed, which also wasn’t the unusual part. Tonight, you were sitting with your chin on Kei’s chest and your leg between his legs, your knee resting on his crotch. This wasn’t even an unusual position for the two of you, who often would press yourselves together in intimate positions. Tonight, you finally admitted to Kei that Tadashi has only made you cum twice in the entire time that you’ve been together. 

“What? Like, dating? Or?” Kei asks, his eyebrows furrowed together, looking thoroughly disgusted and confused, “because it could just be that you’re both too soft n-.”

“Like, ever, Kei,” you interrupt, looking just as confused and disgusted as Kei was. 

“That’s horrible,” he scoffs, “You just let that happen?”

“I don’t let it happen, Kei. It just happens.” You rest your head completely on his chest, sighing dramatically. “He’s amazing. He’s incredible. He’s so nice and he’s kind and he’s pretty and he’s everything that I need!” 

Kei scoffs again at your words, “but he can’t make you cum?”

“But he can’t make me cum,” you repeat, shaking your head against Kei’s chest and then look back up at him. “I just, I haven’t gotten off from someone else in so long. Only me, alone, in the bathroom.”

“That’s so sad,” Kei says, the disgusted look still lingering.

“What else am I supposed to do about it?” you groan, frustrated. 

“Get someone else to fuck you,” Kei shrugs. He doesn’t laugh or hint at a joke. He’s being serious.

“Wha- What? I can’t do that…,” you hide your face from Kei, ensuring that he doesn’t see the redness on your cheeks.

“Sure you can. Look, you have needs, okay. He can’t satisfy them. You just have someone else do it.”

“I don’t trust anyone enough to do that.” You feel horrible even contemplating the option. A terrible light bulb goes off in your head. 

“You…,” you start, hesitantly. Kei’s eyes widen immediately at the start of your sentence. 

“No. No, absolutely not. He’s my best friend,” Kei shakes his head.

“You’re my best friend,” you say, softly. “I don’t trust anyone else! You said it yourself. I have needs, Kei. He can’t satisfy them. I have to find someone else to do it.”

“You’re really going to use my own words against me?” 

“Yes,” you state so matter-of-factly. 

“No. I won’t,” he shakes his head, looking away from you, but not moving you from on top of him.

“Kei, please! I couldn’t do this with anyone else, but I’m just,” you take a deep breath, ready to lay all of your shame out on the table. “I need this. I’m so desperate, please.” Kei introduced this idea to you and so quickly you needed it to become a reality. You needed it to become a reality with Kei. 

Kei looks you over, your chin pressed against his sternum as he breaths. “Fine. You want to know the real reason?” Your interest is piqued. You tilt your head, curiously. 

“Hm?” You can’t believe you’re even having this conversation, but now you’re in too deep. 

“I don’t know if you can handle me,” Kei pushes you off of him and promptly gets off the bed. 

“Wha- What do you mean?!” You’re offended. He’s acting like you’ve never had sex with a narcissist before. You scoff at this statement, rolling your eyes dramatically, and standing up with him, following him.

“I mean, I don’t think you can handle me,” he repeats himself, not wavering his tone or message. He adds after a second of your angry face, “You’ve been with Tadashi for almost 2 years. You guys have probably been having vanilla, missionary sex, maybe doggy style if you’re feeling extra spicy, the entire time you’ve been together.” He waits for your objections before continuing, interrupting them, “I know I’m not wrong and I know Tadashi. He’s just as nice and “sorry, (y/n)!” in his day to day as he is in bed.” You’re silent. You know he’s not wrong. 

Tadashi has always been so accommodating and kind in every aspect of your relationship. He tries so hard in bed, he really does, but he’s made you cum maybe twice in your entire relationship with the help of yourself, though he would probably claim many more times than that seeing how often you fake it. You hate yourself for it, but you’ve tried so hard to teach him, to show him, to tell him exactly what you want and how to do it, but he never gets it. It’s exhausting and has been way easier to just to fake it and then finger yourself later in the bathroom after he’s gone to sleep.

You want Kei so badly. You want to cum so badly and you know that right now is your only chance. “I- I can handle you.” Your voice is much more timid and much less convincing than you anticipate it being. 

“I don’t think you can.” Kei’s voice, in contrast, is steady and low, already causing your core to feel warm. 

“I can, Kei, I can. Please,” you hold onto his arm, looking up at his face, pleading, “please.” You sound much more confident, and also much more despairing as you whine for him. He looks at you for a few moments, his eyes trailing up and down your body and finally stopping on your eyes, searching for the overwhelming excitement and consent that he needs to move forward.

“Are you sure you want this?” he asks. This is the final time he’s going to ask or question you. He needs you to be absolutely positive because he’s not going to hold back. You nod desperately. “Verbal consent, (y/n), I’m serious.”

“Yes, fuck, yes, Kei, please. I need this. Please, I can handle it, anything, please.” The string of words leaves your mouth quickly. Kei waits another few seconds after, giving you plenty of time to change your mind before closing the gap between you both. His lips are on yours and his tongue is in your mouth so quickly. He’s holding your jaw as he tastes every inch of the inside of your mouth. He sucks your tongue into his mouth, hard, allowing you to explore his mouth. His tongue is harsh against yours, but it feels so good. He pulls away abruptly, already lifting your shirt over your head and running his hands down your body, his hands sculpting around every curve. 

“If at any time this gets too much for you,” he presses kisses into your neck, nudging your chin upwards as he starts to softly roll the skin between his teeth. “Yellow means we’re moving to somewhere you’re uncomfortable with.” He licks your neck, pressing his entire tongue against your skin. When he pulls away, the air is cool against the freshly wet flesh. “Red means that you’re uncomfortable and you want to stop immediately.” He moves down to your collarbones, nibbling on them and breathing heavily against them. 

“If you can’t speak,” he grabs your hand and taps 3 distinct, hard times against your skin with two fingers. “3 taps, _hard_ so that I can feel them without a doubt, and two fingers to know it’s intentional.” His eyes are on yours, his look stern and serious. “Do you understand?” You nod, overwhelmed with all of this information.

“(y/n), verbal consent. I don’t fuck around,” he says, his eyebrows raised expectantly. 

“Yes,” you nod confidently, despite the questions forming in the back of your mind. Maybe you couldn’t handle him. You weren’t expecting this level of safety precautions, maybe just a safeword considering how he made out that you couldn’t handle him. Maybe he was right. 

“Repeat.” Kei’s lips are back on your throat, sucking the skin so hard that you feel the bruises forming almost instantly. His hands are reached around to your back, one hand sliding down over your ass and the other unhooking your bra before you notice what he’s doing. He tosses it to the side and presses himself against you, your nipples dragging against the fabric of his shirt as he massages into the flesh of your ass. 

You can’t exactly think straight, but it’s important that you remember these even when you can’t think. “Y- Yellow means caution, that I’m starting to f- feel uncomfortable about something.” Kei digs his fingers into your flesh as he moves his head down, capturing your nipple in his mouth and twirling his tongue around it. “Fuck,” you moan, tilting your head back. 

He pulls away from your nipple, the cold air feeling even colder on your spit sheened nipple, causing it to get even harder. “What else?” 

You answer quickly, just wanting to feel his tongue on your nipples again. “Re- Red means that you- that I- I want you to stop because I’m- I don’t like it- I’m uncomfortable.” Your nipple is back in his mouth. He’s sucking on it with such purpose, the suction sending waves of pleasure through your body. 

“A- And, I’m going to, ta- tap on you to- to show you, but please, please don’t stop, Kei.” You grab onto his shoulder and tap with two fingers against his back, 3 times with enough force for him to feel them. He listens to you, nodding as you tap against him, but keeping your nipple in his mouth. He rolls it between his teeth, bringing his hand up to pinch the other one between his fingers. “Fuck,” you breath. 

He stops, coming back up to face you. “Good.” His fingers are making quick work of your button and zippers and are quickly in the waistband of your jeans, pulling them to the ground, but leaving you in your underwear. On his way back up, he runs his hand up the inside of your leg, following your ankle to your calf to your inner thigh leading to your pussy as he uses one finger to rub once between your slit, pressing harder into your clit, rubbing two circles before stopping and stepping backward. You can’t help but moan at this tiny, delicate touch. He’s still fully dressed and you’re suddenly aware of what you probably look like. Your instinct is to try to cover yourself up from Kei’s hungry eyes, but he starts rubbing his cock through his pants. Your eyes are drawn to the bulge in his jeans. You feel your panties get even wetter as you see how big the bulge is. You’re almost positive that Kei could see how much wetter you got, how the dark spot on your panties grew when he started rubbing himself. 

He pulls his own shirt off and you marvel at how toned his body is, how perfect his skin is. He takes a step towards you, his hard bulge only inches away from your thigh. Your breath stills. “Take them off, baby,” he encourages. You listen to him, beginning to lower yourself to your knees, but he holds your elbow, not allowing you to drop. “From here.” You’re confused at first until he uses his hand to rub in between your lips through your panties. “I want to be able to touch you.”

You nod, your breath skipping as you try your hardest to focus on undoing his buckle. It seems like such a difficult task right now, your mind completely infatuated with the feeling of Kei’s long finger rubbing against the doused fabric of your panties. You seriously can’t figure out how to undo his stupid buckle, but he just lets you struggle. You think that he’s being nice as he pulls his finger away, allowing you a moment to think straight, but he brings the finger up and sticks it into your mouth. “Suck,” he says, low. You listen, sucking on his finger, trying to multitask and undo his buckle. “Sloppier, baby,” he coerces. You listen again, your fingers on his buckle stilling and focus on the spit drooling out of your mouth. He pulls the finger from your mouth and places it back between your lips, pressing harder into your clit and moving faster, pushing your panties in between your lips until your bare lips are exposed and your panties are bunched up between them, completely hidden. Kei’s finger slips past the panties, dipping into your flood for just a moment before running his finger back down the strip of your panties, pushing at your hole. Your moans are fluttering as you try to sink onto his fingers. He holds on in place harshly. 

He starts counting down. You’re confused, so confused. You don’t know why he’s counting down or what will happen when you reach the end of it, but you’re hoping for the finger to enter you. “3… 2… 1…” You close your eyes in anticipation, but he pulls his hands away completely. 

“I- Kei- No, please, why?” you beg.

“I told you what to do and you were too busy and concerned with what you wanted. Now I’m not going to touch you,” he says so matter-of-factly. You wanted to laugh. You thought it was a joke. You needed it to be a joke, but now Kei is taking off his own buckle, which he does in 10 seconds, might you add. He’s taking off his own belt, throwing it gently to the side and undoing his zipper and button. 

“Kei,” you whine, “It’s… It’s not fair.” You’re pouting. You know he doesn’t find it cute and amusing when you see his facial expressions. “It’s just… You were making me feel so good.”

He scoffs, “Just from that? Tadashi must be treating you worse than I thought.” Your cheeks burn at the mention of your boyfriend’s name. You want to tell him to stop saying his name, but you know he won’t listen to you anyways. Instead, you just nod at him. He laughs.

“Please, Kei. I couldn’t focus,” you complain, trying to excuse yourself, but he’s not listening or he doesn’t care or maybe both. He pulls down his jeans, only the thin fabric of his boxers are covering his hard, long member. You swallow, hard, looking at how big he is. Tadashi isn’t necessarily small, but he’s definitely not big, and more so, he’s definitely not _this_ big. Your eyes are glued to Kei’s boxers as he pulls them down, releasing his cock. A gasp escapes your lips, a sharp inhale into your lungs as you truly take in how big he is. He’s not just long, but he’s thick. You’re getting even wetter as you think about everything you want to do to him and what you want him to do to you. 

“Can you listen this time?” he asks, condescendingly, a disgusted look on his face. You nod excessively, so quickly that your vision blurs. You’re ready to do anything that he asks you to do. You just want to touch his cock. He smirks at how eager you are. “Take your panties off for me, baby. Nice and slow. Turn around when you do it.” He knows exactly what he wants. 

You start pulling your panties down, slowly, like he’s asked of you. You want to have them completely off, but you know you have to listen to Kei especially after last time. When the panties are to your knees, you’re facing completely away from him. “Bend over.” His words are so commanding and harsh. You do as he says, bending over to pull your panties all the way down to the floor. You can feel how exposed your pussy is from behind in between your legs, can feel the air highlighting every inch of wetness.

You hear Kei step closer to you as you stand their frozen, your panties around your ankles. You can feel his cock graze in between your legs just briefly before he controls it, ensure that no part of you is touched. He leans forwards, pressing his hips against your ass and brushing his cock between your lips for the smallest fraction of a second. “What does Tadashi call you while he’s fucking you?” The question stuns you, your knees buckling and your heart beginning to race. You know that you’re almost fucking his best friend, but you don’t need to be reminded of him every few minutes. Still, you know that Kei wants an answer and you want Kei to be good to you, so you answer. 

“H- He calls me sweetheart,” you stutter. Kei actually laughs, stepping back away from you and holding his stomach as he repeats it. 

“He calls you sweetheart when he’s fucking you?” he asks, trying to make sure he heard that right. 

“Yes.” You suddenly feel more embarrassed at this admission than you do at the position you’re in. He grips onto your hips and you want him to enter you so badly, but instead he turns you around to face him and gently pushes you onto the bed, lying flat on your back, your head propped up against a pillow. 

“Spread em,” he gestures towards your legs as he spits into his own hand, slicking his cock as you spread your legs open, exposing yourself to Kei. 

Kei is towering overtop of you, a knowing smirk on his face as he moves the fist he’s made around his cock, stroking slowly, squeezing his hand as he gets to the head and letting the pressure off as he returns back to the base. You know how desperate you look underneath him. You don’t need to see it in his glasses to know, but you do, and it makes you even wetter. Your legs are spread apart, the breeze from the fan making you painfully aware of how warm and flooded you are and how erect your nipples are. Your hands are beside each retrospective hip, gripping onto the sheets, waiting for him to enter you, but he doesn’t move, doesn’t even get closer. 

“Touch yourself,” Kei sneers. You don’t know what to do. You heard his words clearly, but your body isn’t making any move to do what he’s asked of you. You wanted Kei to touch you, you didn’t want to do it yourself. He takes a step towards you, his hand around his cock moving faster. “Let me see you play with yourself, sweetheart. Show me,” he coos, his tone changing to endearing in such a short amount of time. Hearing Kei call you what Tadashi calls you shakes your entire soul. You feel so conflicted but so hot. You want to hear it again. It sounds so much better coming out of his mouth. It makes you want to please him. You want to make him proud. 

You nod at him, timidly moving your hand down to clit and rubbing small, diffident circles into it. Your fingers don’t feel nearly as good as Kei’s did a few minutes ago. It doesn’t help that he’s watching you so intently either. It’s embarrassing to be completely open and on display like this, lying underneath someone who wasn’t your boyfriend, but, rather, your boyfriend’s best friend, _your_ best friend. You have to shake the thought out of your mind before your body doesn’t allow you to get off. You close your eyes, trying to focus on the sensations of your fingertips brushing against your swollen clit. Your eyes are only shut for a few seconds before Kei is clearing his throat. 

“Eyes open. Look at me,” Kei clarifies. His hand hasn’t stopped moving as he’s scanning your body, evidently very happy with what he sees. Even with this gorgeous sight in front of you, it’s hard for you to lose yourself in the moment being stared at so eagerly. “Both hands.” He tilts his chin up at you, gesturing at your hand that’s still gripped onto the sheets. 

With your other hand, you cup your tit, rolling your hard nipple in between your fingers while maintaining your pace with the other hand. “Good girl,” he says under his breath. A moan escapes you. He raises his eyebrow, cockiness seething from his smile. “Yeah? Are you my good girl?”

You nod obnoxiously, a strangled noise coming out of your throat as you move your attention from your nipples to your wet hole, teasing yourself with your fingertip. You’re getting into it now. The situation is weighing on you but in the best way possible. You look up at Kei and your mind is still screaming that he’s not your boyfriend, but the louder the voice gets inside your head, the wetter your desperate pussy gets. He’s not your boyfriend, but he’s here, watching you tease yourself and torture your own clit as he jerks off above you, because your boyfriend can’t get you off like Kei can; _no one_ can get you off like Kei can. He knows it too. Even when you would try to get off in the bathroom after having sex with Tadashi, it never felt this fucking good. 

“Do you want to be a really good girl?” he asks, his hand now gently rubbing on your inner thigh. 

You know that he’s just using those words, that phrase, to get exactly what he wants, but it only makes you want him more. You would do anything to be good for him. You want him to use you, to satisfy his every need with any part of you that he wants to. “Please, please, Kei. I’ll do anything.” Your own voice surprises you at how desperate it sounds. 

“Sit up.” His tone has switched back to the harsh, commanding asshole that he was before as he grabs onto your arm right as you’re about to insert your finger fully into yourself. You let out a defeated sigh before sitting up, looking at him innocently. “Stay still,” he demands. Kei walks over to you, getting closer and closer until the tip of his head is pressed up against your lips. You go to open your jaw to take him into your mouth, but he stops you, holding your head still. 

“What did I say?” he growls at you, grasping a fistful of your hair as punishment. “Repeat it.” 

“Stay still,” you repeat, your lips opening slightly around his head, allowing some of the precome to line the inside of your lips. You want so badly to lick your lips, but you know that Kei wants you to just sit there, so you don’t move. Your head is still as he swipes the spongy head across your lips, stroking the length as he does so, causing more precome to drip out of the slit and onto your lips. He pushes forwards, but you keep your mouth still, the tip only entering into your mouth when he nestles it in there. It touches your closed teeth and you shutter, trying to keep as still as you can.

Kei moans as he drags his sensitive head across the fronts of your teeth, your cheek bulging as he slides it into the side of your mouth. The combination of his grunts, his hands in your hair, and the thought of him using you for his pleasure all have your pussy aching to be touched. You want to touch yourself so bad, but you know that Kei will be angry. 

“Open,” he finally tells you. You let your jaw fall open as you look up into his eyes, fluttering your lashes at him, but he doesn’t look at you like you’re adorable or cute or pretty, he looks at you like he’s starving. “Tongue out.” You instantly stick your tongue out. “Good girl.” Your pussy throbs. That’s all you wanted to hear from him. You want to hear it again. 

“Lick the precome from my slit, sweetheart.” There’s that name again, shaking your being. Kei positions his cock at the tip of your tongue. You’re not expecting the name and the specific language has you blushing. You do as you’re told, focusing the tip of your tongue to lick the precome from his slit. The salty sensation on your tongue makes your mouth water for more. Kei drags his head down your tongue before taking a step back. He hasn’t told you to move your head or your tongue, so you don’t, despite everything in your body telling you to whine and pout at how far away his cock is from your mouth now. You’re so focused on where his cock is that you don’t notice that he’s bent over towards you or the glob of spit that falls onto your tongue until it’s already coated it. 

You barely have any time to react, only savoring the taste for a moment, before Kei stands back up and rests as much of his cock as he can on your tongue without actually entering your mouth. The slickness of his spit on your tongue and your warm breath from panting causing Kei’s cock to pulse. You can feel it. Kei looks down at you and lets more spit drop from his tongue. You’re not sure if he missed or if this is where he was aiming, but the spit lands right beside your mouth, dripping down your chin and onto your chest. 

He’s thrusting his hips slowly, gliding the underside of cock across your tongue. Your jaw is already starting to ache from staying open so wide, but you don’t dare relax. It’s like Kei can read your mind. “Wider,” he grunts, angling the tip of his cock down. You force your jaw to open uncomfortably, but the smirk that Kei gives you is worth any amount of discomfort that you feel.

Kei gives you no warning as he forces his entire length down your throat in one swift movement, groaning as he feels how tight your throat is around him. You try to gasp in surprise, your gag reflex triggering as his cock slides down your throat, but he’s blocking your airway. You take in air from your nose, but it’s not enough. Kei doesn’t budge in the slightest, just strokes your hair as he mutters “good girl” over and over again. You focus on his words and your breathing and the fact that you’re making him feel good right now. 

“Tongue out,” he demands, his hands grabbing your hair now instead of stroking it. Your nose is pressed up against his stomach and your tongue is sticking out as far as you can force it out of your mouth. You can feel it grazing his balls, every time you flick your tongue, his grip in your hair gets tighter and his groans get more guttural. 

Drool is leaking out of the side of your mouth as Kei’s cock pulses in your throat. Your head feels light and you’re pushing back into Kei’s hands, desperately trying to get air. You need to get a good breath or you’re going to pass out. He pulls you off of his cock. You’re coughing and inhaling deeply several times trying to recover. Kei gives you these few seconds of reconciliation before starting to get annoyed. 

“Open,” he nods down to the spot that you were in before. You assume the same position, chin tilted up, tongue so far out that it’s painful, jaw aching from forcing it open so wide, your lips swollen and sheened with spit and precome. “Good girl. Fuck, you’re such a good girl.” You love to hear the praise coming out of his mouth. It’s making you drip. 

You’re expecting his cock, but see his eyes close to yours and now you can’t breathe for another reason. He spits in your open mouth, but not on your tongue this time. The spit goes directly down your throat and you let it slide all the way down. His fingers are wrapped around your throat putting pressure directly on your airway, quickly getting so tight that you can’t breathe again. “But I decide when I’m done with your throat. I decide when you get to breathe again. I decide when I pull your pretty fucking mouth off of me. You don’t get to make those decisions. If I want to fuck your throat until you pass out and keep fucking your throat when you’re unconscious on the floor, I’ll do that.” You want to moan at these sentences, at the thoughts that are now flooding your head, but you can’t. No noise comes out of your throat at all, it can’t. Your hand comes up and wraps around Kei’s wrists, your eyes roll back into your head as his grip gets tighter. He’s waiting intently to see if you want to tap out, but when he doesn’t feel any pressure against his wrist, he tightens even harder, his fingers shaking. “Do you understand?” he commands. You nod as best as you can. When he pulls his fist away, you take in so much air that your head starts to pulse. Your breaths can’t be large enough. “Now open.”

You assume the same position. Your breathing finally slows when he rests his balls on your tongue. You’d never done anything this dirty with Tadashi. This was foreign territory for you. “Suck.” You can feel him above you, stroking his cock as you take one of his balls into your mouth. The entire situation feels so _dirty_ , but you can hear Kei’s moans and grunts and you never want to stop. You continue sucking, focusing on the ball in your mouth and your tongue against it. 

“Take both in your mouth, you fucking whore,” Kei says, getting into this very quickly. The degradation makes your clit throb and pussy clench. You open your mouth wider, taking the other ball into your mouth. Your mouth has never been this full before. Your nose is pressed against the underside of his cock, but you can barely focus on that. “Stop,” he grunts. You release both balls from your mouth with a _pop_ , your tongue still sticking straight out, waiting for whatever he wants to do with you next. 

“Good girl. Deep breath” You listen to him. He slides his cock into your mouth as soon as you’ve taken a good breath, grunting at every inch that slides down your throat. He holds it there again. You close your eyes, focusing on your breathing, and making sure that you make it through. Then you feel a sting on your cheek, startling you. Kei’s palm had made contact with your cheek. Your eyes snap open. “Eyes on me. Look up at me, sweetheart.” You moan around his cock and he inhales at the vibrations around his length. A single tear rolls down your cheek as the residual sting lingers. Your breathing is okay, manageable this time until Kei plugs your nose. 

“You better open your throat wider or I’ll have to fuck your unconscious body and you won’t be able to cum. It’ll be just like Tadashi, huh?” Your eyes open even more so at this sentence. Kei pulls his hips back, taking most of his length out of your throat before slamming back in. You missed your small window for air. You sit, patiently waiting for him to start moving again. You breathe as much as you can as soon as he pulls back. You’ve forced your jaw open even wider and have allowed your throat to open, allowing the smallest bit of air in. 

Kei’s thrusts into your throat get more and more frequent each time until he’s pistoning into your mouth. His hips are thrusting into you, abusing your poor throat, at such a fast speed. Every few thrusts, he buries his cock as deep in your throat as he can, holding it there until he feels you starting to fall, your eyes rolling back, and your jaw relaxing. 

“Gag on my cock,” he commands, continuing, “I want to feel you gag on my cock. It feels so good when I feel your abused throat constrict around my cock. I’m too big for you, aren’t I? You’re so used to small cocks, aren’t you, sweetheart? You can barely handle how fucking big I am.” It’s true. It’s all true. 

He hits the back of your throat, your body convulsing slightly as you gag. You can feel the muscles in your throat tighten around his cock. He loves the feeling so much that he does it again. And then again. Your stomach is twisting as he hits it for the 4th time. He glides his cock down your throat. The noises that he’s making are magical. 

“Swallow.” You swallow whatever liquids you can. “Yes, fuck,” he groans, “again.” You swallow again, significantly less fluid in your mouth. “Again.” You swallow again. “God, your throat feels so good, I might not even need to fuck you.” You can’t help but to whimper, swallowing again around his cock. “Fuck, I could just cum down your throat right now and leave you on the bed for when Tadashi comes home. Maybe he can help you.”

You want to shake your head no. You want to beg for him to stay, to touch you, just to tell you to cum. If he just told you to cum right now, you think you could. You’d do anything for him right now, but you can’t. You can’t do anything except let him use your throat for whatever he wants to use it for. He laughs at the panic in your eyes as he pulls out of your throat, stroking his cock above you. “Or maybe I won’t even use you to cum, huh? Maybe I’ll just make you watch as I blow my load onto your pretty face. Tadashi would love coming home to that, wouldn’t he?” 

You don’t know how to answer that, so you don’t. Kei doesn’t like that. You feel a sting across your cheek, harder this time. “I asked you a question.”

“I- N- No. No, he wouldn’t like that,” you answer truthfully, even though you don’t think it’s the answer that Kei wanted. It’s exactly the answer Kei wanted.

“But would you like it?” he smirks, waiting for your answer. He hasn’t stopped stroking his cock, moaning as he swipes his thumb over the head. “Don’t lie to me…,” he pauses, “sweetheart.” His smile is pure evil.

You nod timidly before verbalizing it. “Yes. I would like that a lot, Kei.” 

He laughs again, shaking his head. “Tch. Pathetic.” Your entire body feels warm and embarrassed. He leans over you, getting so close to your ear that his low whisper sounds like a scream. “It sucks that I want to ruin you, then, huh?” A shiver disperses through your entire body as you shake your head no. No, it definitely doesn’t suck that he wants to ruin you. 

“I want you, now.” Kei finally decides. He pushes you back on the bed again. “On your side.” You’re conscious of how little you know about sex positions, particularly ones where you lay on your side. He pulls you to the edge of the bed, laying almost completely on your right side, save for the small parts of your back that are touching the bed. He positions himself between your legs, lining himself up with your throbbing pussy. It hasn’t been touched since you didn’t listen to Kei. You know your hole is tight, but so lubricated that it’ll swallow him just as easily as your throat did. He takes your leg and rests it on his shoulder. 

He rubs his head in between your lips, pressing up against the hole. “Please.” It slips out of your mouth, but you’re not going to apologize for it. Kei rubs his thumb against your clit, using your own wetness to lubricate your swollen nub, his finger moving effortlessly against it. You can’t stop whimpering. 

He doesn’t stop to ask if you’re ready, or prep your hole with fingers, he just starts sliding into you. He’s not even halfway inside of you when you decide that you’ll never be this full again. It takes your breath away. You can’t breathe, but you’re trying. You’re gasping for air as he inserts his entire length into you. “Kei, Kei, Kei, fuck, Kei.”

“I haven’t even started fucking you, sweetheart.” He presses a kiss into your leg next to his face as he slides completely into you, not stopping until his hips are pressed up against you. You’re waiting for him to let you adjust to how thick he is inside of you, but he doesn’t. He starts moving almost instantly, rocking his hips backwards and then thrusting into you completely. You’ve never had anything so deep inside of you before, not even your own fingers or a dildo. 

Kei picks up the speed, rocking his hips into you repetitively, in such a rhythmic pattern that you’re already almost there. You know, and he does too, that all he has to do is angle just a bit down and he would be obliterating your g-spot. Even without it, you can feel your arousal heightening so high. His thumb is still rubbing circles into your clit. “Kei- Kei, I think, I-,” you breathe, stuttering over your words, so filled with cock and pleasure that your head is foggy. 

“Already? You’re already going to cum? God, you really are starved of some good cock, aren’t you?” he teases, picking up speed even more. “I’m not even hitting your g-spot. I’m not ready yet. You’re going to cum without me even trying?”

You know you should feel embarrassed, but you’re not. You have no shame in letting yourself go. “Fuck, Kei, I’m coming, fuck.”

Your eyes squeeze shut. Your head presses back so far into the bed that you know how messy your hair is going to be. Your toes curls and your knuckles are white against the sheets. The entire time, no noise comes out of you, despite your mouth being completely agape. The pleasure is obliterating you. You can’t think of anything at all except for the pleasure. _How good_ everything feels. Kei hasn’t stopped fucking you. He’s slamming into you as you ride your orgasm to completion. As soon as you’ve stopped cumming, you want to cum again. You need him to make it happen again. 

“I’m not stopping until I’m finished. If that means that you’ve cum so many times that your orgasms hurt by the last one, then so be it,” he thrusts into you again and again. His hand has moved from your clit and is instead wrapped around your leg, using it as leverage to fuck into you even harder. Every time you think he can’t fuck you harder, he proves you wrong. He’s almost growling at this point, fucking you so deep and hard that you exhale every time he pounds into you. 

“You’ll never cum from anyone else again,” he slams into you, “Every other guy that you ever take will never compare to me, will never be as good as me. Their cocks won’t fit inside you like mine does. They won’t fill you up as much as I can. I’m ruining you. I don’t even think you’ll be able to make yourself cum after this. Every time you want to feel pleasure, real pleasure, you’ll have to call and beg for it. When you’re in bed with Tadashi, so late at night, and he’s sleeping next to you, you’re going to have to call me and beg to meet up with me so that I can get you off.” His words are just making you get closer again. You know that he’s just talking dirty to you, but you know how much truth weighs in those words. He’s right. 

“You know that, don’t you?” he asks, breathless from how relentlessly he’s fucking into you. 

You nod at the sentence, still thinking repetitively over the words he said to you and how true each of them is. Kei reaches down to start rubbing your clit again. He can see you’re close. He can feel that you’re close. Your pussy is gripping his cock, the rigid, wet walls milking him as you have your second orgasm.

“Yes, yes, Kei, fuck. I’ll never feel this full ever again. Please, please, will you fill me after this time? Please, I can’t imagine never fucking you again. Please,” you moan through your orgasm. You want confirmation of something to look forward to. You need him again. 

He laughs at how unapologetic you are at begging for him again before he’s even finished with you. He doesn’t answer but instead asks a question. “Tadashi fucks you doggy style, sometimes, doesn’t he?” He fucks you through the end of your orgasm. 

You nod, hesitantly, still blown away by cumming twice already. “Sometimes,” you reply. Kei snickers. 

“On all fours,” he directs you. “I was serious when I said I wanted to ruin you, baby.”

You assume the position on all fours, a position that Tadashi will sometimes have you take him in. You’ve never understood the hype around this position, but you’re hoping Kei teaches you. A sting spreads from your ass as Kei spanks you. You’re already feeling the hype. You whimper. 

“Again?” he asks, smirking. You nod, wanting to feel the pain but knowing that he’s going to do it regardless. He spanks you again, harder this time. He doesn’t ask if you want it again, just spanks you for a third time, even harder. You won’t be able to sit tomorrow if he continues on. You kind of want him to continue on. You’re not met with another sting, but Kei’s cock thrust completely inside of you until his hips are pressed against your ass in one motion. You choke on your own breath, coughing in surprise. 

He brings his hands up and snakes one into your hair, grabbing a fistful, and the other on your shoulder, using it to pull you back onto him. You hear your skin slap against his, hard. You can feel the sting on your ass from where Kei spanked you as it smashes against his thigh. He’s so deep inside you, you think you can feel him in your stomach. 

Kei’s chest goes flush against your back. He whispers into your ear, “The next time he’s fucking you, you’re going to say my name.” It’s almost hypnotic, how low and intriguing his voice is. “You won’t be able to get me out of your mind,” he tells you, each thrust into you punctuating his words. He straightens back up, gripping your hips as he fucks into you. His fingertips are going to leave bruises. “Do you know why?”

You shake your head no. You want him to tell you why. You want him to say anything to you, anything at all. 

“Because you’re my bitch,” he says so seriously, moving quicker as your wetness grew, slicking him even more at the sentence, “and Tadashi has never hit this…” Kei thrusts, angled into your g-spot. The sensation makes it feel like lava has erupted in your stomach. “and it’s all you’re going to think about when you’re in this position.” He knows exactly where it is and he won’t stop smashing the head of his cock into it repetitively. “How this is what it could’ve felt like, but he’ll never make you feel like this. So you’ll be thinking of me the entire time and you’re going to say my fucking name.”

It’s too much. Everything about this situation is too much. You’re speechless. You’re aware of every part of your body that Kei has gripped onto or smacked. Your eyes roll back into your head. You don’t even know what’s happening, only that Kei’s cock feels so good against your walls and slamming into your g-spot. You feel a warm sensation run down your legs slowly at first, but then explode onto the sheets beneath you and Kei’s cock and his lap as you scream for him. “Kei! Fuck! Yes, Kei. I won’t ever think of anyone else. Only you. Only you, Kei, fuck. Oh **fuck**.”

“Fuck, you just squirted all over my fucking cock, fuck.” For the first time tonight, Kei sounds like he can barely speak. He can’t think of a witty retort about how good he made you feel, he can only keep repeating those words. “Fuck, you squirted so fucking much all over me, baby. Fuck, good girl. Fuck.” He pulls himself out of you. If it weren’t for the mind-blowing orgasm you just had that you need a minute to recover from, you would’ve whined endlessly until he was back inside of you. Kei looks so focused right now and you’re realizing that his hand is on his cock, wrapped around right where his head meets his shaft, squeezing, not stroking. His chest is heaving and he’s swallowing excessively. He had to stop himself from cumming too early. (Define too early?) He’s made you cum 3 times already, feeling your pussy tighten around him as he didn’t even stutter, and has fucked you for over an hour, not even mentioning the abuse your throat went through.

You think he’s waiting for the sensation to pass before entering back inside you, but he drops to his knees, pulling your hips towards him. “You’ve earned this, sweetheart,” he murmurs into your skin. You feel his nose press up against your ass, his tongue sticking out and licking from your clit to your hole. He doesn’t use the tip like Tadashi does, he uses the flat side of his tongue, exploiting every part of the surface of his tongue. Your arms shake as he sticks his tongue into your hole, fucking it, moving his face back and forth. “Fuck, Kei.” 

He moves back down to your clit, flicking it with the tip this time, fast, before sucking it into his mouth and running his tongue over it again and again as he suctions onto it. “Holy fuck. Oh my God.” Your face is down in the bed, your arms refusing to support you anymore. The sounds that are coming from behind you are almost enough to make you cum on their own. Kei is slurping all of the juices that he’s created since he first started touching you. You can’t see him, but the sounds are incredible. You can’t see him. 

“Kei, Kei, can I lay on my back? Can I see your face? I want to see your face.” You know you’re not in any position to ask him for anything, but you hope he listens to you. You want to watch him eat you out so badly. He hums into your pussy, nodding as he flips you over, spreading your legs even further. He looks up at you, his mouth completely clamped over your entire pussy, his tongue working particularly hard, creating an insane amount of pressure on your clit, swirling around it, in between your lips and slit, fucking into your hole as deep as he can. His eyes never leave yours. You try to keep up with him, but it’s too fucking much. Your head falls backward, staring up at the ceiling. Kei’s arms reach up, grabbing onto your tits, rolling both of your nipples between his long fingers.

“Look at me,” he mumbles into your pussy quickly before continuing his expertise. You listen to him. It’s the least you can do. You look at him, your eyes watering at the pleasure that he’s creating for you. It sounds so messy, so sloppy, so _fucking good_. 

“Don’t- Don’t stop. ‘M gonna-,” you moan so loudly that it scares you as Kei works even harder, sucking your clit into his mouth and nibbling it softly before using his entire mouth, his lips, his nose, his chin to rub against your pussy, spitting on it repeatedly to slick it up. “Fuck!” you’re screaming now and you can’t help the sensation release from you again, the clear liquid spraying from between your legs onto Kei’s face. You can’t even feel apologetic, but you don’t think he wants you to. He doesn’t stop rubbing your clit through your orgasm, you clench your thighs together, completely overstimulated, but he doesn’t stop. He keeps rubbing your clit through the pain and into another wave of pleasure that quickly crashes into another orgasm. You’ve never come that quickly together before. There’s no squirt this time, only insane pleasure washing over you as you pant and scream Kei’s name. 

You’re out of breath. You can barely move. You’re so tired from all of the times that you’ve come, but you know how hard Kei is and you know how badly you want his fucking cum. 

“I want to be all the way inside of you,” Kei states. You’re confused and he can see the confusion on your face as he cleans his glasses with the blankets on the bed. 

“How? I mean, like, weren’t you… already all the way inside me?” you ask him, innocently.

“Deeper,” he says, laying down on the bed next to you and flipping you on top of him so your soaked pussy lips are wrapped around his length. He grunts at the feeling. You lift off of him as much as you can muster with how weak you’re feeling right now. He helps you, grabbing onto your ass and lifting gently until you’re up high enough for him to line himself up with your hole. 

“Sit,” he commands. You listen to him for the millionth time tonight, lowering yourself onto his cock. His cock hasn’t grown since he fucked you doggy style, but it feels so much bigger. It’s so much deeper inside of you as you’re seated on his cock. Your walls grip him on the way down.

“Fuck, you’re tight. How does Tadashi last so long in you?” he asks, genuinely wanting to know. 

You laugh for the first time all night, “He doesn’t.”

He holds onto your hips, looking up at you and how breathtaking you are. Your tits are out, moving with every breath that you take. It makes Kei’s cock twitch inside of you. “Bounce on my cock, baby.” He’s asking so much of you with the state that you’re in right now, but he knows you’ll listen to him. “Be a good girl. Bounce on my cock. I’ve done all the work tonight, sweetheart.” That’s all it takes. You get a sudden surge of energy as you nod, using your knees in the bed as springs to slide up and down his cock. 

“Fuck,” he mutters under his breath. His fingernails dig into you again, bruising the already bruised skin. How are you going to explain all of these marks to Tadashi? You don’t even care at this point. You want Kei to keep making more. He’s guiding you up and down, though you’re doing most of the work. “Faster, baby, fuck.”

You listen. You bounce up and down on his cock faster, getting higher before slamming down against his lip. Your tits are bouncing just as wildly. He moves his hands from his hips to your tits, grabbing onto them and massaging them as you milk his cock. You purposefully tighten around him on the way up and relax on the way down. Your tight pussy desperately gripping at each inch of his length, coaxing the cum out of his cock. “God, fuck. Milk my cock, baby, yes.” Kei’s lines are becoming less demanding and more appreciative. They’re still commanding, but less harsh. He moves his hands back to your waist, lifting you almost completely off his cock, your head only tightly squeezing his head. 

“Ready?” he asks. The bliss on his face is still there, but there’s so much devilish intent now too. You don’t have time to ask questions or to even tell him yes as he fucks up into you. His hips are moving so quickly up that even though your body isn’t moving, the ripples of energy are tearing through you, shaking them violently. 

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, Kei.” You’re already there. You’re already ready to cum just from penetration alone. 

“Not yet.” This is the hardest demand yet for you to listen to. “You can only cum when you feel my load fill you up.” You swallow hard, but nod frantically. 

He’s grunting so loudly as he claps into your pussy from underneath you. He’s getting so deep inside of you with every thrust. You’re speechless. You’re so on the edge the entire time that he’s fucking you like this that you can’t focus on anything else. He pulls you down completely on his cock and stops thrusting for a second. He’s breathing heavy as he snakes his arm around your waist, pulling you onto his chest, his cock still just as deep inside of you, but this time when he fucks into you, he hits you g-spot on the first thrust. “Kei, Kei, Kei,” you can’t stop saying his name, “I can’t- I can’t hold it.” You barely even notice the tears running down your cheeks as the pleasure is so built up inside of you. 

“Fuck, baby, fuck, almost.” His thrusts are getting sloppy, his cock is pulsating, you feel so fucking good wrapped so tightly around his cock, but he needs to feel you cum. He needs to feel your pussy tense up as he drills into you, knowing that he’s the reason you look so pretty, your face contorting from pure pleasure. He wants to feel you milk him, coaxing his big fucking load out of his balls and deep inside you. He can make you cum. He doesn’t have to ask you. He can just make you cum, even despite you trying to be such a good girl and listen for him. 

He holds your hips steady, slowing down for a few seconds, catching his own breath, letting himself relax. You’re both grateful and so sad about this. You’re grateful because you would have cum just then, but you’re sad because you wanted to cum so bad it hurt. He stills for a second and then he’s fucking into you again, but differently this time. His arms are shaking from holding you down against him so tightly, not letting you move, despite your numerous attempts to squirm, as he thrusts up into your tight, aching pussy mercilessly. You’re sobbing into his shoulder.

“I- I- I can’t hold it, Kei, please.” You’re trying to be so good for him. It’s making his balls tighten, but he doesn’t want to come yet. He can’t come until you milk it out of him. _Do it. Cum,_ he thinks as he picks up speed, like sprinting the last half mile of a marathon. It’s as much as he can give and he wants it to be enough to push you over the edge without having to ask. You’ll feel so much better tightening around him while you apologize to him for not listening. 

“I’m going to cum, Kei, please, please, please, I’m sorry, fuck. I can’t hold it any longer,” the string of words come out so fast that they practically overlap each other. You cum around his cock, your pussy throbbing, gripping so tightly onto his cock as he keeps up the intensity of his thrusts. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” you scream out. You start repeating his name over and over again, unable to think of anything else in the world. 

With your pussy clamping so hard down on his cock, it’s exactly what he needs. He feels his balls tighten, his cock throbbing inside of you as his hips start to stutter messily. “Fuck, sweetheart, fuck, you’re making me cum, fuck,” he grunts, snapping his hips into you as hard as he can as he unloads inside of you, strings of cum filling up your insides, squeezing out of your pussy as he tries to fuck them deeper into you, but has already overfilled your abused pussy. He’s still cumming, feeling it leak out of his cock, when he pulls his cock from your pussy, letting it land on your ass and back down on his own cock. He slides his cock back into your pussy, going as deep as he can as before exhaling a final breath. 

You’re both quiet for a second, not talking about anything that just happened, just breathing. You’re still pressed up against his chest, cum dripping out of your pussy and onto Kei. You know that you should both clean up, but you’ve never been this tired in your life. You can’t even roll off of him and you don’t think he could push you off. 

“When will Tadashi be home?” he asks, panting, trying to regain himself. 

“He doesn’t get back until tomorrow morning,” you hum happily, listening to his accelerated heartbeat. You don’t move, but he doesn’t ask you to move. Your breathing is more irregular than his is as you close your eyes. “Can we nap? I need to nap. That took so much out of me.”

Kei’s quiet for a moment. There’s no laugh or retort, he just nods, wrapping his arms around your waist and stroking your hair. He grabs the cleanest blanket that he can from where he’s pinned to the bed, draping it over top of both of you. You hum at the warmth. He knows that this is a part of the whole degradation thing, the comforting at the end. That’s why he’s doing it.

“Goodnight, Kei,” you smile up at him lazily, kissing his chest before laying it back down. “Oh, wait, Kei,” you look back up at him. 

“Hm?”

**_That’s why he’s doing it._ **

“Thank you,” you smile at him, blinking slowly. You’re so tired that you don’t even notice his heart skip a beat as you thank him. 

**_Right?_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	2. ch 2. “well, what are you calling me for?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is the SECOND part of the fic that was ONLY supposed to be a one-shot. 
> 
> I am absolutely floored by the response I've gotten to this fic, all the comments, kudos, and love! I can't wait to release the last part! Enjoy!

It had been weeks since you cheated on Yamaguchi. 

Since that night with Tsukishima, you haven't been able to come, not once. Nothing felt right. When you tried to do it, your fingers seemed too small, they couldn’t reach deep enough, his words weren’t in your head pushing you over the edge. When you finally gave in to having sex with Tadashi again, after you were certain that the marks on your neck and your hips were completely gone, it was even worse than it was before. You found yourself so pent up and frustrated that you couldn’t even fake it. You couldn’t pretend to come, because you knew exactly what it felt like to not have to pretend. 

You thought that having sex with Tsukishima would remedy all of your problems, but it’s just created more. You assumed that it would finally let you get off from someone else and you could return back to normal, maybe doing it again in another 2 years, but it’s been 3 weeks and you’re having withdrawals. 

You’ve tried  _ so hard _ to make yourself come, spent hours in the bathroom while Yamaguchi slept in the adjacent room, just trying to make yourself feel just a fraction of how good Kei made you feel.  _ Nothing _ works. Not even when you sat on the cold tile, hand between your legs, recalling every detail you could remember from that night, moaning his name so softly there was no way that Tadashi heard you. 

Tonight was particularly bad. Every night before this had been bad, of course, it was. After getting fucked as incredibly as you had, it was hard to function with only the thought of it. 

Having sex with Tadashi just made it infinitely worse. Void of marks and bruises of infidelity, running out of every excuse that you could think of, the first time was bound to happen at some point. After the first time, he tried to continue the makeshift schedule that you guys had been in for the past year. 

Every time that you would have sex with Tadashi, your body was welcoming. You remembered how amazing it was when Kei had fucked you and your body was so ready for it to happen again, but it was nothing like last time. The longer that you had sex, the more bored, frustrated, and annoyed you got. It’s not like Yamaguchi lasted very long, but every second was just a reminder of how much Kei had ruined you. Your body was unforgiving when it realized that whoever was inside of you was not Kei. 

You were missing the feeling of fullness, the commanding words, the rough grip, the stinging on your skin. Tadashi didn’t give you any of that. You couldn’t even bring yourself to fake it, instead, on this particular night, telling Tadashi that you were just tired, that you didn’t need to finish. He had asked so many times if you were sure and you tried your best to be as convincing as possible as you lied to him.

You were desperate to get into the bathroom, waiting patiently until you were sure Tadashi was sleeping, thinking that maybe tonight your body will finally cut you some slack. You were soaked from all of the thoughts in your mind of Kei as Yamaguchi failed to satisfy you. Your core was on fire. You were so sensitive, but you just couldn’t get off. You  _ needed  _ to get off. It was just going to get worse. There was only one option.

Before you know what’s happening, your phone is in your hand with Kei’s contact on the screen. Your mind was so quick to react to this idea; this idea that had definitely graced your mind before. Despite autopilot grabbing your phone, unlocking it, opening your contacts app, and clicking on Kei’s name, it refused to click the call button. You had to do that. You had to make the conscious decision to call Kei for a booty call with Yamaguchi barely 30 feet away. 

Your finger hovered over the button, moving closer and further from it as you tried to weigh your needs and wants. You didn’t just want Kei, you needed him. It had been far too long since you had come. You just wanted to come again, or so you told yourself. You’ve started lying to yourself now, too, evidently. The honest truth slipped into your mind for only a minute before you disregarded it. You didn’t just want to come again. In fact, it wasn’t even your biggest goal in calling Kei. No matter how many times you lied to yourself, you knew the real truth. The entire reason that you wanted to call Kei was so that you could make him come again. 

The pad of your thumb makes contact with the screen so gently, but it still registers. The phone is ringing, but it’s not pressed to your ear. You’re staring down at it, your heart racing as you wait for the ringing to stop and his voice to take its place. It’s almost 3 in the morning. He probably wasn’t even awake. The phone keeps ringing until you’re about to hang up, not enough strength in you to hear his voicemail message. 

“Hello?” His voice is tired, hoarse, confused like he had just woken up. Of course, he had just woken up. You’re still staring down at the phone, the call time increasing as you blink slowly at it. “Hello?” he repeats. 

You pick the phone up to your ear. You’re speaking in a hushed whisper when you finally respond to him. “Kei.” In a perfect world, that’s all you would need to say for him to understand. He wouldn’t make you beg to come over or tell you that it’s a bad idea or ask what you wanted, he would just understand and unlock his door. 

He understands completely, but he’s not passing up the opportunity that’s presented itself to him. He told you when he fucked you that you would call him and that you would have to beg. “Sweetheart,” he breathes, the sleepiness falling off of his voice and being replaced with a gruff cockiness. You whimper at this sentence, your hand trailing back between your legs. “What’s up?” 

“I…,” you pause, thinking carefully, “I haven’t been able to cum since you made me come,” you admit to him. You didn’t need to be inflating his ego any more than it already was, but he needed to know just how ready you were for him. 

“I told you that was going to happen,” he laughs, snickering at his “I told you so'' moment. 

“I know.” He loves how embarrassed you sound right now. “But I can’t even make myself come.”

“You’re that worthless, huh?” he asks into the phone, the warmth in between your legs growing as your panties start to moisten. 

“Mhm,” you agree with him. 

“Well, what are you calling me for?” he asks, clicking his tongue. He knows exactly why you’re calling him.

“I need you.”

“You’re going to have to speak up, sweetheart, I can’t really hear you.”

Your eyes look up at the closed bathroom door. “I- I can’t. Tadashi is right outside the door, I-.”

“I can’t hear you, (y/n),” he says, harshly. The dominating tone is back and it’s doing a number to your body. 

You raise your volume by the smallest percentage. “I need you.”

“What?”

Your face is red, but your body is desperate. You have to say it. You need him to hear it and to tell you that he’s going to fix it. 

“I need you, Kei.” You have to hold your breath after you finish speaking at your normal tone of voice. In the dark of the bathroom, you sounded so loud, but it’s all worth it when Kei laughs.

“Good girl,” he affirms. You’re melting into the floor. 

“Please, Kei.” Your whisper has returned, but Kei doesn’t mention it. 

“Did he fuck you tonight? Is that why you’re missing me so much?” He’s so blunt when he asks.

“Yes.” Your answer is short, but you want this conversation to be over. You want to be on your way to his house already. 

“Two cocks in you in one night? Is that what you want?” He sounds so evil right now, so degrading, but it’s everything that you were missing. You nod, despite the fact that he can’t see you. 

“I just want yours, Kei, please, please. Nothing I do makes me feel good, only you make me feel good,” you plead, hoping that this will be the final push that he needs to listen to you, to allow you over. “I need you.”

From the other side of the phone, you can hear a soft  _ click _ in the background. “The side door is unlocked. I’ll see you in 10.” He hangs up the phone without even so much as a confirmation. 

* * *

Walking into the side door without him even knowing felt wrong. Being at his house so late in the night without Tadashi knowing felt so wrong, but you keep moving forward. His house is mostly dark, save for the kitchen light, and the hallway light leading to his bedroom that you’d been in so many times. 

You’ve walked down this hallway so many times, but this time feels different. You don’t know whether to knock on his door or to just go inside. You contemplate your options, your palms getting sweaty thinking about making the wrong choice. Should you text him? 

The door in front of you opens, swinging open away from you, revealing Kei, inches from you. Your eyes float down to his bare chest and then down to his boxers. You feel so overdressed. “Were you just standing outside of my door?” he asks you, raising his eyebrow. He looks so effortlessly gorgeous. 

“I wasn’t sure if I should just come in or knock.” For someone that called their boyfriend’s best friend in the middle of the night to make them come, you’re suddenly feeling very shy. He slinks his arm around your waist, pulling you into him, into his room, and shutting the door behind you. Even after the door is shut behind you, he doesn’t move to pull away from you. 

With his hand that’s not gripping onto your waist, he slides it over your stomach, your chest, up your neck, pushing your head to the side. “The evidence faded nicely.” He smirks at how bare your neck is, or, rather, he smirks at the clean canvas. His lips brush against your neck so lightly that a shiver runs down your spin. Your head is still as he kisses your neck softly. 

The kisses quickly turn much more violent. You knew this sweet, soft Kei had lasted far too long in the few seconds that you had been in his room. His lips are open as he’s dragging his teeth on your skin before making O shaped suctions on your neck. He’s trying so hard to make marks as quickly as he can. He’s succeeding. 

“I- Tadashi’s going to-,” you start to protest at all of the marks he’s making. The protests are futile, only causing Kei to laugh against your skin and make marks higher on your neck and under your jaw. He’s bruising you in places that are going to be so difficult to cover up.

“Tadashi’s what? Is Tadashi going to make you come? Do you want me to stop so that he can-,” Kei teases, but the expression on his face isn’t flirty and light, it’s condescending and arrogant. 

“No. No, please. I’m sorry,” you apologize for interrupting him, for questioning him in any way. 

“Good.” His mouth is attacking your neck again. He’s doing it to spite you at this point. Every mark is purposefully placed in a place that would be significantly more difficult to cover up than the rest of them. One at the back of your neck where your hair doesn’t hide most of the time, one right above your sternum where your v-necks fall and your button-ups don’t quite cover, one near the front of your neck, but ever so slightly to the right, completely in view even with your hair down, one hovering directly above the line of where your turtleneck rests on the opposite side of your neck that you like to keep your hair. The placement of each of them is too peculiar, too thought out, too inconvenient. 

“Your neck looks much better, now, sweetheart,” he tells you, Tadashi’s nickname hanging in the room. You’re painfully aware of how easily it’s becoming Kei’s nickname in your head. 

“Do you remember the rules?” he asks, his thumb rubbing over the freshly purpled areas on your skin. How could you forget them? You remember how important verbal communication was to him so you repeat them aloud. 

“Yellow for caution, red for full stop, tapping 3 times with two fingers if I can’t talk,” you recite as if you’d been thinking of it non-stop since he told you them. You just wanted him to be rough with you again. 

He smirks at you, looking your body up and down and licking his lips. “Good girl.” He’s no longer touching your neck, his hands dropping to his sides are he steps back, his eyes lingering down your entire body. 

“We should probably make this quick, huh? So you can get back to Tadashi.” The smirk hasn’t left his face as he so effortlessly mentions your boyfriend’s name. Your stomach twists every time that he does. Getting overhearing Tadashi’s name, you notice what he’s actually saying and you frown. You didn’t want to be quick, you wanted him to draw it out, to touch you for hours, to make up for the fact that you haven’t come in so long. 

He begins to close the gap between you two again, wrapping his arm tightly around your waist and pulling you deeper into the room with him. His mouth is so close to your ear that you can feel his hot breath. “Is that what you want? For me to fuck you really fast so that you can get home to Tadashi?” Your eyes flutter shut as you shake your head no. “What is it that you want?”

“I want to make you come.” Your voice and answer surprise you, but not as much as it surprises Tsukishima. He regains his composure quickly, but you saw how his breath stuttered for a moment. 

“Me?” He’s returned to his controlling demeanor, undoing your pants and pulling them to the ground as he presses kisses down your chest and stomach. “I thought you haven't had an orgasm in weeks, not since the last time I ruined you.” 

You’re unsure how to proceed, whether you should backpedal or not. You wanted to feel his cum dripping out of you again, wanted to watch his face as he rode his high, wanted to hear him grunting as his hips stuttered, but you also wanted to get off. The whole reason that you were here right now was so that you could finally, after weeks of frustration, have an orgasm. 

“I- I mean,” you start, but Tsukishima presses his lips harshly against yours, licking the outside of your bottom lip sloppily before sucking it into his mouth. 

He pulls away quickly, “You didn’t lie to me, right? You’re not going to take back what you said, right, sweetheart?” His hand lifts off of your lower back, raises in the air, and then comes down hard on your exposed ass, causing you to jump towards him so slightly, rubbing on his hardness. 

You shake your head. You wanted to cum so badly, but you chose your priority for the night. You weren’t lying to him when you told him that you wanted to make him come, but you wanted him to make you come too. “Good girl. You just want me to use you like Tadashi does, huh? You don’t need me to make you come.” He’s laughing at the entire situation.

He uses one finger, dipping it into your mouth without warning, pressing it against the back of your tongue until you gag, using the spit to rub against the outside of your panties. You quiver at the touch, suddenly flooding completely and already almost there. 

“I don’t think you need to come tonight,” Kei sneers, taking your earlobe between his teeth. “It’s just too much for me to have to worry about. You can just come over another time, maybe.”

You want to beg, to plead, to pray (that might work) to him, asking for him to just continue what he’s doing and you’ll be putty in his fingers, that you don’t need much, you’ll make do with whatever he wants to do to you. Your words are stuck in your throat in fear of punishment for speaking out, but you settle. “I don’t want to leave, Kei.” These words had the chance to be bratty, but they just came out pathetic. 

“Leave? No. You just told me that you wanted to make me come.” He forces you to your knees, the sudden impact of the floor on them making you wince. “You’ll do that.” He cups your chin with his hand, endearing at first, but then forcefully tilting it upwards, staring into your eyes. “If you come tonight, I will never touch you again.”

You don’t know if he’s lying, if he could actually follow through with that, but you don’t want to find out. You couldn’t take the chance. You would have to behave. The main motivation that you had for sneaking out of your house and into Kei’s was the fact that you hadn’t been able to come since he touched you, but here he was, touching you, but not allowing you to come. 

“Do you understand?” His voice is as forceful as his grip is. You nod hesitantly. You don’t want to nod, but you do understand. The hand on your chin moves down to your neck, promptly cutting off the air that was flowing into your lungs. “Do. You. Understand?”

You nod again, more sure of the answer this time. You choke out a  _ yes, Kei _ before he removes his hand from your throat. “Take my cock out.” His hands are in your hair as he demands this from you. There’s nothing to distract you this time, allowing you to pull his boxers down and take his half-hard cock in your hand. “Spit.” You spit into your hand before starting to stroke it, his fingers lacing into your hair. His demands are small phrases, not wasting time with filler words, only wanting to give you enough information to listen to him. 

He uses his grasp in your hair to bring your head closer to his cock until your lips are rubbing over the semi-softened length. His lack of demands makes you feel as though you have some degree of liberty, sticking your tongue out of your mouth for him to brush against. When he moans softly, his cock getting harder against your lips, you know that you’ve made the right decision. You’re feeling more confident, moving your head against his hands, and running the side of his cock between your lips. His fists tighten as he moves his hips in motion with your lips.

The harder that his cock gets, the more tempted you are to take it’s growing entirety down your throat. You spit into your hand, slicking him from the base to his tip before placing his head in the part of your mouth. You look up at him, inquiry and innocence in your eyes. His nod is less of an enthusiastic yes and more of a “go ahead if you want to.” You want to. 

You take him completely into your mouth. Though he’s not completely hard, he fully takes up your mouth and his head is grazing your throat. You don’t move your mouth once he’s inside of you, instead focusing on your tongue and the suction of your throat, swirling your tongue over any part of him that you could and running it up and down his length. You swallow, causing your throat to constrict around him. His soft grunt of your name reminding you how much he loves it. You could feel him growing bigger, longer until his cock was completely blocking your airway. This was the feeling that you missed so much, that feeling of fullness inside of you. 

You start moving your head, taking him almost completely out of your mouth, stroking the length when it wasn’t constricted by your throat, before slowly swallowing his entirety, pressing your nose up against his stomach. The sounds that are coming out of Kei’s mouth are the best form of encouragement that you could have, the second being the slight shake in his grip on your hair when you did something that he really liked like forcing his cock so hard that it triggers your gag reflex. This was severely different than the first time you had sucked him off. You had so much more control this time, so much more freedom to pleasure him how you wanted to, to show your expertise. 

Looking up, previously focused only on what you were doing, the only thing that you can see is Kei with his head thrown back. You can’t see the look on his face, much to your dismay, but you bet his mouth is open and his eyes are closed. You hum with pride, Kei’s hips bucking at the feeling. You start to moan around him, the vibrations sending sensations throughout his entire body. 

“Your throat feels so fucking good, fuck,” he murmurs softly before hesitantly pulling you back up to your feet, his hard cock rubbing against your lips through the cotton of your panties. Your knees feel weak from the small amount of contact. Somehow, it’s worse this time than it was the first time. You literally hadn’t come at all in 3 weeks and you were already anticipating how good Kei was going to make you feel. 

He picks you up, prompting your legs to wrap around him. You can feel your warmth pressing against his skin and it takes everything in you not to start grinding on him like a teenager. As quickly as he picked you up, he’s thrown you on the edge of the bed. He’s on his knees now, his mouth hovering above the waistband of your panties, so close that you can feel his breath on your hip. His teeth drag across your skin, snagging on your panties and closing his teeth together to pull them down. Watching him move so intently has you dripping. You remember how good it felt for him to eat you out. Your anticipation was only going to make it feel so much better when he finally made contact, but the anticipation was all that you felt. As soon as he’s pulled your panties down, he hovers over you for a split second before standing back up, reaching over top of you to grab something. The thought of him eating you out again is still swarming in your head. If you asked nicely would he do it for you? 

You know the answer to that. 

A pillow is pushed underneath your head before Kei’s hands are clawing down the sides of your waist, stopping at your hips, his thumbs rubbing circles into the same place that his breath graced. His eyes flicker up to yours. “If you’re really good, maybe I’ll let you come after I’m finished with you.”

You shudder, your entire body feeling so ready for whatever he wants to do to you tonight. “Thank you.” The gratitude leaves your mouth as soon as you think it. A taunting smile hanging off of his lips. He’s soaking in how grateful you are at just the thought of him possibly letting you come tonight. 

“Again,” he jeers. Like you said,  _ soaking _ in it. 

“Thank you, Kei,” you repeat, louder this time, but still just as grateful.

“Good girl,” he mutters, pulling you closer to him with one hand, the other stroking his cock as he rubs it between your lips, carefully smearing his precome on your clit. You’re moaning louder than you should be for as light as the contact is, but you don’t care. Even inside of you, earlier tonight, Tadashi didn’t make you feel this good. 

Your back is flush against the bed, head lying softly on the pillow, legs dangling off of the side of the bed. Kei is between your legs, staring into your eyes as he towers above you, not even watching as he lines himself up with you. He presses his head against your hole, but not entering. He loves to watch your facial expressions shift as he does the littlest things to you. He rubs the head between your lips, pressing his hips forward to put more pressure, circling your clit before pushing the head inside. 

Even with only the head inside of you, you’re already clenching around him. He places his hand on your mound, his thumb lightly flicking your clit as he pushes deeper inside of you at an agonizingly slow pace. You want his hips pressed flush against yours, want to feel your pussy swallow him completely. You feel every tiny movement as he sluggishly fills you. 

When he’s hit the back of your walls, he pulls his hips back just as slowly and pushes them forward just as slowly. He’s fucking you so gently, so soft, so tormentedly. His thumb on your clit is flicking at the same speed, just slowly rubbing back and forth over your swollen nub. He’s moving so slowly in all aspects that you can barely enjoy yourself. His thrusts pick up speed only slightly as he continues. 

“Kei, please.” Your soft plea disrupts the silence in the room as Kei was focusing on pushing into you as slowly as he could muster. He cocks his eyebrow at you. It’s like he was waiting for you to protest just so that he could punish you. The hand between your legs moves to grasp your hips, his other one following suit on the other side. His thrusts are still slow, but they’re hard. Just before his hips are flush against yours, he slams into you, the pleasure spiking for only a fraction of a second before reverting back to its slow and teasing approach.

“What?” he asks, indisputable antagony dripping off of each letter. “Do you want me to make it harder for you not to come all over me? Is that what you want?” He’s picking up speed now, driving his cock into you with the same intensity, but faster. “You know that you’re not allowed to come, right? You just want me to torture you? Is that it?” He knows the answers to all of these questions that he’s asking. He’s only asking them to see your face as you react to each one of them. “What’s going to happen if you come tonight?”

You don’t want to say it out loud, scared that if you do it’ll become even more of a reality. He fucks into you faster, still missing your g-spot purposefully, but the penetration alone is making your pussy ache. “Tell me.”

“You’re… You’re not going to touch me again,” you admit. The sentence in the air around you making you feel almost nauseous. 

He clicks his tongue. “Tch. And you still want me to pound into you? Is that what you need, you fucking whore? You know that you’re not going to be able to come, but you still want me to destroy you?” Every word that comes out of his mouth is punctuated by the sound of his skin slapping against yours. You instantly regret your plea. 

“Kei, I-,” you go to protest, but he shakes his head, picking your hips up off of the bed to accentuate the angle that he’s fucking into you. At first, you think he’s just adjusting you or only doing it for a moment to tease you, but he doesn’t put you down. He holds his hands under you, lifting you up and hammering into you with a speed that you hadn’t seen before. 

His cock is ramming haphazardly into your g-spot, sending a wave of pleasure throughout your body every time he rams inside of you. You switch back and forth between speechless and letting out straggled moans that almost hurt as they leave your throat. With how deprived you are of orgasming, you could have came seconds after he started  _ fucking _ you, but you know that you can’t. 

Kei’s out of breath. Sweat is running down his forehead, sheening his forearms and biceps, littering his chest with droplets as he continually pistons into you while still holding you up. Even in his extreme labor, he still has the energy and lung capacity to talk to you, to degrade you.

“You fucking asked for this, didn’t you? You wanted it so badly. You wanted me to fuck the shit out of you, couldn’t take being fucked slow and gentle, needed it pounded into you like a fucking whore, like a fucking bitch, like my fucking bitch.” The words are spitting out of his mouth so quickly, almost matching his thrusts. His brain isn’t focused on articulating complete sentences, only saying strings of words connected together in one long-expression. 

You couldn’t even respond to him, despite how badly you wanted to tell him that you were  _ his _ bitch and only  _ his _ bitch. Your mind was too occupied with making sure that you didn’t come. Everything inside of you was telling you to just let go, to let the pleasure take you, but you couldn’t take the chance. 

Your right hip falls back into the bed and you notice how hard you were clenching to try to keep yourself stable. Half of you is lying back on the bed, the other side still being held up by Kei. This led to a non-direct contact with your g-spot and you were grateful for it. Instead, his hand found his way to your throat, wrapping his slender fingers around your neck and pressing into you. Each thrust made his hand push into your windpipe a bit more, releasing on his pull back, but returning on the next one. 

He’s leaning over top of you, sweat dripping onto your shirt that he hadn’t even bothered to take off, falling onto your tits that are bouncing so hard from the motion that your nipples have gotten hard from rubbing against the fabric. There are so many things for you to think about right now, so much pleasure happening on different parts of your body and the fact that Kei is making it so hard for you to breathe. 

“If you can’t respond, you don’t really need to breathe, do you?” he huffs, tightening his grip against your neck. You wished that the choking would distract you from how badly you wanted to come, but the less oxygen that’s getting into your lungs, the more heightened all of your other senses were. It only brought you so much closer. 

Your vision is blurring as he leans completely into you, causing nearly his full weight to crush your throat, smirking as you try to gasp beneath him. Your eyes are having a difficult time staying open as you try to focus on everything at once. When his hand retracts from your throat, you start coughing at the amount of air you try to take in. The feeling of recovery doesn’t last for long as he lifts your other hip back up and focuses his energy into perfectly targeting your g-spot.

“Play with yourself,” Kei demands, looking down at your pussy and how well it’s taking his cock. 

“Kei, I- I can’t,” you stutter, not making eye contact with him. You know that if you were to look into his eyes, you wouldn’t be able to deny him. 

“What?” His voice is seething the anger that you were fearful you would get from his eyes. 

“I can’t, Kei, please, I’ll come,” you explain desperately.

He leans over top of you, grabbing the pillow from under your head and stuffing it underneath your lower back, maintaining the angle that he created from holding you up, but slightly lower. It still does the trick. Kei doesn’t lose sight of your g-spot or how to hit it with every thrust. “I’ll do it for you, then.”

You wished you had just listened to him, but such is the theme every time you don’t listen to him. This just reminds you how much you have to hold it completely. You have to listen to him, but he’s making it almost impossible. Using his thumb, he’s rubbing circles into your clit faster than you were capable of and he doesn’t slow down in the slightest as he pulls up your shirt, exposing your tits to the cold air and pinching your nipple between his fingers, rolling it so hard that the pain turns to pleasure. He leans down, capturing your other nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it, sucking on it with such care that the other parts of his body should be stuttering out of pattern from the sheer concentration that he has. 

You should have listened to him. The pleasure that’s taking over your body is too much. You can feel the build-up in your lower stomach. Tears are streaming down your cheeks at the overstimulation. You’re screaming so loudly that you wouldn’t be surprised if the entire neighborhood, even Tadashi, woke up to see what was happening. There is not a single part of your body that isn’t on fire right now. Your head hurts from how difficult it is to stop yourself from coming with so much happening. You’re telling him to stop over and over again, but you know it’s futile. You know that the only way he’ll stop is if you say yellow or red, but the thought of him actually stopping makes you feel empty. You’ll suffer. 

You don’t know how much more you can take. You thought that he would get tired at one point, that some of his motions would fall out of sync, that he might decide that you’ve had enough, but he keeps going. His cock is hammering in and out of you, his fingers are working meticulously, and his mouth only leaves your tit to tell you that you’re a good girl, something that does not make anything better. Your pleas only get louder and more frequent as he continues. It’s all becoming too much. You can feel your pussy start to clench around him, your orgasm coming quickly, but you can’t stop it this time. 

All at once, it stops. The thought of your orgasm fading almost instantly as his mouth is off of you, his fingers are off of you, his cock is out of you. You don’t know whether to be grateful or angry at his timing. 

“On your knees.” The three words make you throb between your legs, but you oblige, quickly getting onto the floor back onto your sore knees, looking up at Kei as he stroked his cock over top of you. You watched how methodical his strokes were, the differing pressure and grips that he used as his hand slid up his cock and back down to the base. You put your hand on top of his, unsure if this would help him or slow him down. His eyes tell you that he was evidently not expecting this. Hesitantly, he removes his hand, your hand making contact with the soft skin. You follow the same movements. 

You try to mimic the movements completely, but you capture his head in your mouth, running your tongue over his slit as it leaks with precome. You pull your mouth off of the head, swiping your thumb over it instead like you’ve seen him do in the past, pulling a moan from his throat. You do it again. You get lower, taking one of his balls into your mouth and sucking as you maintain the technique on his cock, getting gradually faster as his grunts get louder. 

“Fuck, fuck, sweetheart, fuck.” His hand is in your hair like it often is when you’re on your knees in front of him, but they’re not tight fists, they’re soft fingers massaging your scalp. You’ve noticed how thankful, though he would never actually say the words  _ thank you _ , that Kei gets as he’s about to come and it’s something that you want to experience for the rest of your life. You can feel his balls tightening in your mouth as you run your tongue over them. His cock is throbbing in your hand as you pull away from his balls and look up at him expectantly. Your eyes are fluttering and your tongue is sticking completely out, head tilted back so he can see down your throat. 

“God, I’m going to come all over your pretty fucking face, fuck. Fuck, sweetheart, you’re so fucking pretty, but you’re going to look so much fucking prettier with my cum all over you,” he breathes. You can feel his cock begin to pulse before the cum starts shooting out of him. You try to keep your eyes as open as best you can, taking in the sight of Kei’s head completely back, his hand tightening in your hair just slightly as he shoots his load all over your face. Strings of cum get into your hair and eyelashes, onto your tongue, fall against your cheeks, dripping off of your chin. 

The cum that lands near your mouth, you lick up, showing Kei how good you are, how pretty all of the white is on your pink tongue. You pull your tongue back into your mouth, tilting your head completely up so that Kei can see your throat as you swallow, the salty substance sliding down your throat. 

“Fuck,” Kei mutters. Even though he’s coming down from his orgasm, his cock softening in front of you, it still twitches slightly watching you swallow his cum. His chest is rising and falling rapidly. You think he’ll help you back up to your feet, but he’s walking away, laying on his bed. 

“Sit,” he demands. You’re confused as to where exactly he wants you to sit, the timidness creeping back up on you from when you first entered the door. You wanted to go into the bathroom, grab a towel from his dirty clothes, to just run your hand over your face, anything to get the sticky substance off of your cheeks and out of your eyelashes. Kei has other plans. He waves you over, looking at you expectantly. 

“Can I clean myself off first?” you ask, quietly. 

He shakes his head. “No, I think you look pretty like that.”

You get off of your knees, standing up and walking slowly over to his bed. He takes one of your hands and pulls you on top of him. He grabs one of your legs and swings it to the other side of his body. You’re straddling his stomach, the wetness of your throbbing pussy dragging across his abs. He grabs onto your thighs, pulling you up his stomach. You’re still confused, but you trust him. He can tell you’re confused too, but he doesn’t address it. You’ll understand soon enough. 

He lifts you up when you get to his chest and lowers you onto his face. Your leg muscles constrict as you try your best to hover over top of him and not suffocate him, but he pulls you down on top of him. You feel like you’re about to lose your balance as he roughly positions you on his face. You reach out in front of you, grabbing onto the headboard. Oh my God, you were sitting on his face. 

Despite you being on top of him, you know who had all of the control right now. He lifts you up just slightly so that he can talk, muttering so close to you that his lips brush against yours. “You were such a good girl. I think you deserve to come before I send you back home, yeah?”

You know he can’t see you, but you’re nodding furiously anyways, a stream of repetitive  _ yes _ ’s flying out of your mouth. He pulls you back into him. His lips are rubbing against your pussy, his nose nuzzling against your clit as he moves his head up and down. His tongue isn’t even out yet and the sensation is already getting you so close. “Fuck, Kei,” you breathe. All of your pride is out the window with your next sentence. “I’m close,” you whimper. With everything that he had done to you before, the fact that you hadn’t come in weeks, the fact that you could taste his cum on your lips still, the pressure on your clit from his soft lips, the fact that it’s  _ Kei _ underneath you, pleasuring you even after he had already finished, you were putty. 

You knew that if he just stuck his tongue out in the smallest regard, you would come right there, but he doesn’t. He’s determined to make you come from eating you out without even opening his mouth. He’s moving his face drastically, wetting his lips with spit and rubbing them back and forth on your clit. This small, repetitive motion is what drives your first orgasm. Your fingers grasp the headboard so hard that you start moving it as you rock on his face. You can feel your juices running down the side of your leg and onto Kei’s face. Your walls clench around nothing as Kei continues, riding you through your first orgasm in weeks. After not coming for so long, your orgasm has you breathless. 

But it’s just the start. Kei opens his mouth, his tongue sliding out, the flat side of the wet muscle sliding from the bottom of your pussy to your clit, running the tip between your lips and teasing your hole. You throw your head back, a moan escaping from deep within your chest. He digs his fingers into you, trying to get closer to you. He sucks your clit into his mouth, twirling his tongue around it for a bit before gently biting on it. Your hips buck at this, you swallow hard. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, Kei, fuck.” 

Your eyes are closed in bliss as he continues eating you out, his tongue finding its way to your hole, teasing the wet opening with the tip before sticking it as deep in as he can, his nose pressed up against your clit so hard that he can’t breathe. He refuses to move until you’ve come on his tongue. He moves his tongue in and out of you quickly, making it thinner going in and flatter coming out, filling you up as much as he can. He reaches up, grabbing your tits from under your shirt, massaging into them. Your pulse is quickening as he tongue fucks you into your second orgasm. This one is even more powerful than the last one.

You scream out his name as he continues to fuck his tongue into you, swirling it around your walls and slurping up the juices that flow out of you. The sound alone is enough to heighten your orgasm. Your knuckles are white against the headboard, wrists shaking as you try to keep yourself balanced. The  _ thank you _ s don’t stop even after you’ve calmed down. You’re feeling weak after that last orgasm as you begin to get off of him, but he holds you in place. He lifts you off of him for a second, getting in a good breath and speaking. “Make yourself come on my tongue, sweetheart.” 

Kei sticks his tongue out completely, not moving at all as your pussy rests on it. Holding your hips, he starts moving them back and forth, your pussy gliding against his tongue slicked with saliva and your come. You’re not expecting it to feel so good on your oversensitive pussy, but your toes are already curling at how incredible he feels. “T- Thank you, Kei,” you say, trying to focus on your words. 

He moves his hands from your hips to your just below your ass, guiding you instead of forcing you. His help fades quickly as he allows you to set your own pace. You grind against his tongue, rolling your hips down hard. Your swollen clit comes into contact with his tongue as you slide it against the entire length of it. You shake at how good it feels, but his hands keep you stable. You repeat the motion again, dragging your clit hard against his tongue. 

You know that you shouldn’t be asking for more of him after how much he’s given you tonight, but you’re so close for the third time and you know exactly what you need to come. “Please, Kei, please will you suck on my clit?” You ache at your own words, wanting so badly to feel the suction on your clit in his mouth, his lips encapturing it. You know that he told you to make yourself come on him, but you want to feel your clit slip into his mouth.

He hums against your pussy, sucking your clit into his mouth harshly, swirling his tongue around your nub before suckling onto it. All of the breath escapes your lungs at once, a loud “ **fuck** ” erupting from your core. Every one of your limbs is shaking, you can barely grind into him with how weak your legs are as he pushes you over the edge for the third time tonight. 

After not thinking that you were going to come at all, that you were truly going to go back to your house unsatisfied, these orgasms truly blew your mind. Your hips don’t stop moving, rubbing your clit on his lips even after it’s fallen out of his mouth. Your eyes are squeezed together so tight that you feel the dried cum on your eyelashes touch your cheekbones. Your chest is hollowing, your shoulders forwards as your mouth stays open, no sound coming out of it, but a small squeal at the end. 

When you finish coming, you feel like you’re going to collapse. You’re so tired that every time you blink, it’s harder to open your eyes back up. You know that below you, Kei is probably suffocating between your thighs, but you don’t have enough strength to move. Thankfully, he does it for you, picking you up gently and moving you back onto his stomach. You try to control your breathing as you look down at Kei. He looks so disheveled, his hair, which you had never seen even slightly messy, was everywhere, his mouth was completely wet, and he was trying just as hard as you to breathe normally again. You’re about to laugh, to tease him about how cute he looks, to thank him,  _ anything _ , when you slide backward, Kei’s hands on your hips and are met with a hard feeling rubbing against your entrance. 

“You’re hard again,” you note aloud. You probably sound like an idiot, but it was just pure amazement on your face as you felt Kei’s cock hard again from eating you out. In the two years that you and Tadashi had been together, he never got hard a second time. Honestly, in all of your sexual endeavors, even before Tadashi, you had never experienced this, only going one round before calling it a night, even if they had been long rounds. 

Just as you assumed would happen, Kei was looking at you like you were an idiot. “Yes…,” he says slowly, making sure that you know how stupid you sound. “That’s what happens after a hot girl comes all over your face 3 times in a row.” You’re blushing now at him referring to you as a hot girl. Not a lot of things made you blush about tonight, but for some reason, this was one of them. 

“I-.” You stop yourself, the blush still very evident on your face as you try to hide behind your hands, looking at Kei underneath you. 

“What?” He moves your hands from your face, placing them on his chest. God, he looks so good, so confused at your amazement, but then realization settles, his eyebrows raising and a devilish smile appearing. “Oh my God. What? This has never happened to you?”

Despite the adrenaline calming down, the domination in his voice decreasing, instead being replaced with cockiness and disbelief, you still want to listen to him, to answer him honestly, to please him. You shake your head, your face still feeling very warm as you admit to him. 

He grips your hips, sliding you against his once again hard length, your lips wrapping around him as he moves you. “I know I said that you weren’t allowed to come tonight.” He grabs your ankles, gently tugging at them until your feet are flat against the bed instead of your knees, giving you much better leverage for what you were hoping was about to happen. “But it looks like we’ve already broken that rule.” The roughness in his voice is back with a vengeance, making up for its absence. “We might as well break it again.”

At this sentence, he uses his hold on your hips to push you onto his cock. Your already stretched hole takes him in so easily with the added lubrication of your multiple orgasms. Despite having been in you for so long already, the feeling of fullness is truly something that you’ll never get tired of. He grunts at how wet you are, how he’s the sole reason. 

“Ride it, baby,” he encourages, looking up at you, his cock throbbing as he notices the cum has dried onto your face and that you hadn’t wiped it off. He hadn’t told you to. Despite how weak your knees are, you still find the strength to start bouncing up and down on his cock. It slides in and out of you so easily from how wet you are. Kei braces you, his arms wrapped around your back so that you can lean into him as you fuck yourself on him.

It doesn’t take long for you to get really into it, using your legs to push you off of his cock faster and slam down on him harder, taking your own breath away. Kei has given you this sense of control for the third time tonight and you weren’t going to waste the opportunity. The look on your face as you take him so effortlessly is making his balls tense already. Your hands are on his chest, using them as even more leverage to slide up and down his length even faster.

“God, you’re so fucking good at riding dick, aren’t you, sweetheart?” His praise encourages you to please him even further, trying to match the speed that he was hammering into you earlier. Your legs are growing tired fast, but the pure adrenaline and pleasure aren’t allowing you to slow down. You wouldn’t be surprised if you couldn’t walk for hours after this. He wants to watch you fail, to turn bright red, to collapse on him in exhaustion, to rely on him to finish the job. “Is this what you did for Tadashi tonight, baby? Did you fuck him like this?” You shake your head, answering honestly. You can barely focus on his words with how hard you’re trying to please him. You shouldn’t like what he’s saying, but you can’t get enough of it. 

“No, you only fuck me like this, don’t you?” You nod your head, answering honestly. You can’t even think about putting this much effort into making anyone other than Kei come. You didn’t care enough about anyone else. “You want to be all mine, don’t you, sweetheart?” 

The question shakes you to your core. If you weren’t so focused on fucking him, you might have actually burst into tears. “Yes, yes, yes, fuck. I want to be all yours, Kei, please. Please, make me yours.” Your pussy is clenching around him as you beg for such an intangible thing. He’s laughing underneath you at how desperate you sound. He lifts your hips, digging so hard into them that you whimper in pain. 

“I’ll make you mine, sweetheart.” His voice is gentle, like the calm before the storm, as he starts lifting his hips up repeatedly slamming into you. However fast you thought you were fucking him before, he surpasses you tenfold. His balls are slapping against your ass as he’s relentlessly thrusting his cock so deep inside of your soaking wet pussy, slamming into your g-spot so hard that you feel that familiar feeling pooling in your stomach. 

“Lean back,” he demands. You listen to him immediately. It gives him an even better angle to hit your spot and allows for you to support your weight on your arm. “Play with yourself. Let me watch you play with your swollen clit, sweetheart.” You nod, listening to him without hesitation. You reach your hand down to your clit, rubbing small, but rapid circles into it, ignoring how quickly your arm is getting tired and focusing more on how good Kei is making you feel yet again.

“Kei, Kei, Kei, Kei.” His name won’t stop spilling out of your mouth as you squeeze your eyes shut. “I-.” You’re about to announce that he’s bringing you to your fourth orgasm when he stops moving, pulling you back down on his cock.

“Make yourself come on my cock, baby,” he says, his hands guiding your hips quickly as you pick up the pace again, your tired legs picking you up off of his cock before you swallow it completely repeatedly. “Fuck, make yourself come, baby, yes. God, I love watching you, cum all over your pretty face, fuck.” 

You listen to his praise, to his demands, as you try so hard to make yourself come with Kei’s cock. You can’t make it feel nearly as good as Kei can make you feel, but feeling his eyes on you as he watches you ride him compensates for it. It sends a surge of confidence and heat throughout your entire body, bouncing on him faster. “I-, I’m- I-,” you’re stuttering, not able to complete your sentence as Kei lifts his hips again, meeting your hips as you’re both moving in sync with one another. You’ve never felt anything better in your life. 

You don’t know exactly what you scream as you come, clear liquid drenching Kei’s hips and bed, as you fuck yourself through your own orgasm. Everything in your mind goes blank, you can barely remember your own name as he continues to fuck you. Your soaking walls clench around him so tightly as you come, squeezing his shaft, massaging his length. His cock starts to throb again, his hips falling back down on the bed as he relies on you to finish him. 

Kei is almost completely out of breath after watching you squirt all over him, but he uses his remaining air to speak to you, to coax you into making him come. “I know you want more of my cum, sweetheart, I know you do. That’s why you came over here, isn’t it? Fuck. I’m so close, fuck. Milk it out of me, baby, fuck.” The string of dirty words gives you just enough energy to speed up one last time. Truly, if you had to continue any longer, you might have passed out. 

You consciously tighten yourself around him as you lift off of him, loosening as you get to the tip, and vice versa on the way down. You want his cum deep inside of you so badly. You want him to fuck it into you again. Your sensitive walls are gripping his cock as you feel it pulse, a groan tearing from his throat as he repeats your name in between a string of  _ sweetheart _ s and  _ fuck _ s. You feel his load for the second time tonight, this time filling your pussy up completely, adding to how full you feel. You’re mindful, now, of the fact that his cum is dried on your face as well and it just makes you more desperate to get every drop that you can out of him. He’s grunting loudly as you feel his cock twitch and pulse with every stream of cum that sprays against your walls. 

Even after his cock stops pulsing, after his cum stops leaking out of the tip of his cock, you lazily ride him, less sliding up and down his length and more moving your body slightly as you feel his cock move a few inches inside of you. You can feel him beginning to get soft inside of you when you swing your leg off of him, standing up, his come completely inside of you. 

“I’m going to clean myself,” you tell him, making your way down his hallway and into his bathroom. 

* * *

“How are you so good at that?” The words feel like they should’ve come out of your mouth, but they’ve come out of Kei’s. He asks as soon as you’ve gotten back from the bathroom, your face finally cleaned among other areas. You’re taken by surprise at the compliment. It’s not exactly like Kei to admit these things, boosting your ego. 

You laugh at him, picking up your soaked underwear, putting them back on. You begin to pick up your pants when Kei motions you over to him, a grin on his face. He’s still lying in the same place that he was when you left, but he has his boxers on and a blanket over top of him. He throws the blanket back and pulls you back on top of him, the same position that you were in while you were riding him, legs straddled over his hips. It felt almost weird being in this position without both of you being completely naked and overly horny. This somehow felt more intimate. 

“What?” you ask him as he wraps his arms around the small of your back, bringing you closer to his chest. He shakes his head. 

“Nothing, y’know. Supposed to comfort after I degrade you, or whatever,” he mutters. Your heart skips a beat at the thought. You weren’t going to protest. His hand is in your hair, stroking each strand and massaging your scalp. It feels so nice that you hum, letting your eyes close softly. When you open your eyes again, you’re staring into Kei’s eyes, far too close. 

Your eyes flicker down to his lips, his lips that are  _ still  _ sheened with  _ you _ . You want to kiss it off of him. It stops you in your own thoughts. Your heart rate is decreasing, your mind is no longer fogged by pure pleasure, you’re finally coming down from your orgasms, the sex in the air is lingering, but fading and you don’t want to kiss Kei because he makes you come, you want to kiss Kei because he’s so pretty, because he  _ cares _ , because you’ve wanted to kiss him since the first day that you met him and Tadashi. 

You wonder if he’s thinking the same thing. You notice his eyes gazing intently at your lips and it makes your heart swell so big that you want to vomit. You lean down, closing the gap between the two of you. This kiss is different than any from today or from before. This kiss is not just getting you off, it’s deviating from the reason that you were here in the first place. You know this. You know how different this is, how much this is going to change, but you let it happen. You  _ make  _ it happen. You’re the one that’s moving closer to him, closing your eyes right before your lips are about to touch, your heart unforgivingly thumping in your chest.

Before you can feel how soft his lips are when they’re not attacking yours or spewing degrading phrases, your phone rings completely bringing you back down to earth. Your eyes snap open, you start sweating, if you thought that your heartbeat was unforgiving before, now it’s merciless. 

You quickly scramble up from Kei’s lap, grabbing your phone from your pants and reading the name on the screen. Your heart sinks into your stomach as you answer the phone. 

“Tadashi, love, hi.” Your voice is soft, trying not to sound too surprised or breathless. 

_ (y/n), where are you? It’s almost 5 in the morning. _

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m just on a walk. I had a nightmare. I needed to clear my head. I should have left a note, I know.” You’re making up your excuse on the spot, thinking of things that won’t make him suspicious. 

_ A note? Just, please, come back. It’s so late. I had no idea where you were. You scared me.  _

“I’m sorry.” You’re apologizing for so much more than he knows. 

_ It’s okay, (y/n). I’ll see you when you get back, yeah? Or, where are you? Do you want me to meet you? I know it’s a safe neighborhood, but it’s still 5-  _

“No, it’s okay.” You try to keep your voice as calm as you can muster it. “Go back to sleep, Dashi. I’ll be home soon.” 

_ Okay, okay.  _ He yawns.  _ I love you.  _

A pang of guilt hits your chest. You look up at Kei, meeting his now soft, questioning eyes. “I love you too.” 

It doesn’t matter how much you want Kei or how much you crave him. You can’t meet him again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	3. ch 3. “you ruined me too, i guess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah! i meant to post this yesterday and then FORGOT I'm SO SORRY. i hope you all enjoy the last chapter of something that was literally just supposed to be a one shot. I hope its everything u could have ever wanted and more. ENJOY! 
> 
> There is a lot more plot in this chapter than there was in other chapters? I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing for ya, but I like it a lot so.

You hadn’t spoken to Kei in almost 4 months, not at all. You went from messaging him daily, constantly, seeing him 5-6 times a week, getting coffee with him, having him come over for dinner, hanging out with you and Tadashi to absolutely nothing. You couldn’t help yourself when you were around him, couldn’t stop thinking about him when you weren’t around him, so you had to cut him off. After that night, coming home and crawling into bed with Yamaguchi, his arms wrapping around you, they didn’t feel right. They weren’t as strong as Kei’s. Everything that he did reminded you that he wasn’t Kei. You could feel every mark that Kei had left on your body and you were missing him so much that your heart physically hurt. It had to stop. 

When Yamaguchi asked why you guys weren’t talking anymore, you almost started crying. You told him that you guys had gotten into an awful fight and that you couldn’t talk about it. Though it was technically a lie, it seemed convincing enough. Every time that he would try to ask about it, you would get emotional, tears flooding your eyes and heart feeling heavy. He stopped asking about it after a while, just accepting that you weren’t ready to talk about it. He was kind like that. He was conflicted, not knowing whether or not to drop everything with his best friend. You encouraged him to go see him if Tsukishima wanted to and he did.

Everything about Yamaguchi was kind and sweet and everything that you should have wanted, but not being with Kei for the past few months really showed you how difficult it was for you to be with someone like that. Tadashi would listen to you rant about your favorite TV shows, make you breakfast in the morning, tell you all of the things about you that he loves, but every inexplicably nice thing that he did made you miss Kei’s antics even more. You missed when he would make fun of the plot holes in your garbage TV shows, how he would groan at you and throw things when you tried to ask him to make you breakfast, how special he would make you feel when he would tell you the things he loved about you. You were convinced that it was just your obsessive mind, that something was wrong with you.

Not above everything else, but a large chunk of the reason that you missed him, was how great you were together in bed. Nothing was the same without him. You barely even wanted to try to make yourself come. Even when you succeeded the few times that you did, you felt less satisfied after you finished than you had when you started. It didn’t matter how hard you tried or what you did, nothing compared to how good he was at it and how much he cared. 

You had gotten used to the fact that you would never be satisfied again. You never should have fucked him the first time. You were fine with the situation that was happening, at least you could make yourself come. Ignorance truly is bliss, you guessed. 

Except, there was one night, one fateful night, when you were in bed with Yamaguchi, on all fours as he fucked you from behind, that you actually felt pleasure for the first time in months. 

“How is it, sweetheart?” he asked, his breathing sporadic despite only inserting himself into you a few minutes ago. You tried your best to sound into it for his sake at least. The endearing name that came out of his mouth, once belonging to him, but now, even 4 months void of hearing him say it, it was still Kei’s. You wished you’d never told him the name because now it’s all you can think about. 

He angles down, accidentally grazing your g-spot, something he has never done in your relationship, ever. It’s not as thoughtful as when Kei does it, nor as harsh, but it sends the smallest amount of pleasure into your core as you inhale deeply. It’s been so long since you’ve felt actual pleasure, that it just slips out of your mouth. It’s the first thing that your body thinks of when you feel even the smallest amount of satisfaction.

“Fuck, Kei.” As soon as it leaves your mouth, you’re hoping that the rest of the room is loud enough to cover it. You want to crawl into a hole and never be seen again. Even with Kei out of your life for 4 months, the second that you feel good, he’s all your brain can think about. Tadashi slows and you know how badly you’ve fucked up. 

He stops, still inside of you, as he asks, “What?” You don’t know what to do, what to say, you’re frozen in time. When you don’t reply, he pulls out of you, getting up from off of the bed, repeating himself, but adding your name to try to pull you out of your own head. “(y/n), what?” He doesn’t have to ask what. He doesn’t have to ask you to repeat yourself, he knows exactly what you said. 

All of those years of not being suspicious about you and Kei have come back to haunt him all at once. His voice is stern, now, growing impatient. This is a side of him that you’ve never seen. He’s not even angry, just confused and evidently hurt. “(y/n).” His tone is cold and pained. 

“I-.” You feel so small as you choke out one word. You want to rewind time, not just to before you moaned Kei’s name, but to back before that night that you admitted your deepest secret to Kei, the night that you weren't able to turn back from. Your hesitance and lack of words are speaking absolute volumes to him as he scoffs at you, putting his clothes back on and pacing around the room. You’re sitting on the edge of the bed, putting your underwear and shirt back on, looking down at your feet to avoid his eyes. 

“You what, (y/n), tell me, what?” 

“I’m sorry,” is all you can manage to say, a genuine, whether he thinks so or not, apology. It’s genuine, but what exactly are you apologizing for? Even you don’t know. 

Tadashi takes a deep breath, turning to you and stopping in his tracks. “Did you really say it? Please, (y/n), tell me that I wasn’t hearing right, that you said something else and my ears deceived me, please.” 

You know that if you were to tell him, he would believe you. You wouldn’t even have to explain yourself, he would just understand and he would trust you and you guys would crawl into bed and he would hold you and you would wish it was Kei. 

“You said it, didn’t you?” He sounds so defeated, sighing softly and swallowing, tears in his eyes. “Can you at least just tell me that you were just thinking about him for whatever stupid reason? That it was all in your head? That it wasn’t based off of anything that actually happened?” You wish you could. He waits for you to talk, waits nearly 30 minutes in complete, agonizing silence. The awkward air never settling, just getting worse and worse by the second. 

“You have to say something, (y/n). I deserve to know.” He doesn’t even sound angry. You want him to sound angry. You want him to scream, to throw things, to slam the door as he leaves, but even after you’ve cheated on him, he’s still just a genuinely kind guy who’s just hurt. He refuses to say another word, sitting in silence for another 10 minutes before you start to speak up. 

“I did…” You take a deep breath. “I did say it, by the way.” You admit to the first issue at hand, something that he definitely already knows, so you continue on. “We… Kei and I…” You’re trying to find the right words, but nothing is going to sound right coming out of your mouth. “We slept together.”

Everything is silent. You can’t even hear each other breathing. 

“Why?” he asks, bluntly. He deserves to know, but you can’t bring yourself to tell him the actual reason, but he’s repeating it again, “Why?” He repeats it again, begging to know this time, “(y/n), why, please.” He keeps asking because you’re staying silent. The word  _ why _ is flying around your head so much, fogging your thoughts that it just slips out of your mouth. 

“Because you couldn’t make me come,” you admit, louder than you should have. You didn’t want to play the victim here, you weren’t the victim. It was the worst excuse that could have been said. You try to backpedal. “I- I just… You couldn’t… make me come and he could. So we slept together, but only twice before I-.”

Yamaguchi is taking in the entire situation that’s unfolding in front of him. He looks hurt and confused and the anger that you’ve been expecting this whole time is still nowhere to be seen. “That’s a shitty excuse,” he interrupts you. 

“I know. I didn’t… I wasn’t trying to excuse myself. I just-.”

“Twice? You slept with him twice?” he asks.

“Yeah, only twic-.”

“ _ Only  _ twice? Wow, thank you so much for  _ only  _ sleeping with my best friend twice.” He’s getting annoyed at your responses, at himself for sticking around, for being stepped on. You wanted to add that he wasn’t just Yamaguchi’s best friend, he was your best friend too, he was your best friend first, but that didn’t sit well. “What that means, (y/n), is that you did it once and then you did it again because you didn’t feel guilty enough to stop after doing it once.”

You’re quiet again. Nothing that you say is going to fix this. “I’m sorry.” 

“That’s where you were a few months ago, isn’t it?” He put the pieces together, connected the dots. “You weren’t out on a walk, you were cheating on me with Kei.” He doesn’t even wait for confirmation. “Was that the first time?”

“Dashi, no, I-.” You don’t want to tell him, you can’t tell him that you fucked on your bed when he wasn’t home, that you didn’t wash the sheets because it reminded you of that night, that you would get nervous, but excited wondering if Tadashi could see the cum stains on your side of the bed. 

“Where?”

“Here,” you admit as fast as you can. Tadashi scoffs, grabbing his bag and shoving things into it, muttering as he does so. You sit on the bed quietly, watching him race around the room, but not trying to stop him. “You fucked him here, in our home, in our bed, where we  _ sleep _ . Fucking unbelievable. This whole time, I knew that something was weird between you two, but I never said anything. I trusted you, (y/n), I  **trusted** you.” He shakes his head, grabbing clothes, electronics, his wallet, anything that he can grab, and shoving it into his bag. 

“I can’t fucking believe you. I mean, I thought I couldn’t believe you. I…” He stops himself, taking a deep breath and looking into your eyes. It’s only now that you can see how red they are, tears spilling out of them in heavy drops. Yours are dry. 

“I don’t… I’m sorry.” It’s Tadashi that’s apologizing. You reach out, gently placing your hand on his shoulder and rubbing your thumb into it. 

“Dashi, don’t apologize.” Part of you thinks that this means he’s going to set his bag down and crawl back into bed with you and be the little spoon until you both fall asleep. Another part of you knows it’s already over. 

“I love you,” he says to you, looking into your eyes. You can’t bring yourself to say it back. You stand up, urgently. 

“You should stay here. I’m going to go. I can’t… I can’t be in this house. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.” Even though he has his bag packed already, even though it sounds like he was ready to talk and to give you a second chance, your chest is feeling tight. You had to get out of that room, out of that house. Hearing him tell you that he loves you made you feel sick. It doesn’t sit right in your stomach at all. 

“If you leave right now and go to Kei’s, I’m done. We’re done.” It’s the most sturdy sentence that Tadashi had ever said, not riddled with fear or sorrys, just stern. 

You don’t even bother to grab a bag like Tadashi did or to say goodbye as you left or to look back at him standing exactly where you left him. You pushed past him and out the door, desperate to get fresh air into your lungs. 

Tadashi knows exactly where you’re headed when he notices that you didn’t even grab the car keys from the counter. He doesn’t know what he expected. 

The air is much colder than you anticipate it being. The large amounts of it that you’re taking into your lungs to negate the feeling of panic in your heart burn as they fill your chest. Not once during your time in the room with Tadashi did you cry. Watching how upset and sad that you had made him didn’t even make your eyes water, but out on the street, taking that familiar walk that you had taken so often, but not recently, the tears started to form and fall from your eyes. 

By the time you make it to his front door, your vision is completely blurred and your lungs hurt so much from heaving that you’re contemplating holding your breath forever. You don’t even know what you’re doing here. You hadn’t called or texted. It was nearly 3 in the morning. You knew that he would be sleeping. You hadn’t talked to him in months. How did you know he would even let you in?

You knock on the door with as much strength as you can muster, 4 light rasps against the wood. You wait for a minute before trying to knock again. When there’s still no answer, you ring the doorbell once. You’re about to give up when you hear the soft click of the unlocking of the door, a tired Kei stands in front of you, his glasses not even on his face as he squints at you. His eyes open wider when he realizes who it is. “(y/n)? What are you doing here?”

It’s cold outside, but you don’t make the move to try to get inside. He hasn’t invited you in yet, and you’ve lost the privilege of slinking past him and taking off your shoes and walking into his room without question when you broke off all contact with him for 4 months. 

“He broke up with me.” You sniffle at the end of your sentence. Saying it out loud makes a sob erupt from your chest. Your legs feel weak as you bring your hands up to your face, crying into them, your entire body shaking. 

Part of you feels bad for bombarding Kei like this, but you didn’t know where else to go and you definitely couldn’t have stayed. If you had to look at Tadashi for one-second longer, you would have told him everything, even the parts that he definitely doesn’t need to hear. You feel your wrist being pulled inside, Kei shutting the door behind you before continuing to pull you into his bedroom. It looked exactly like it did those few months ago, the bed disheveled from Kei leaving from it so quickly to answer the door. You were laying there with him a few months ago, about to kiss him. You wish you would have kissed him. 

Kei pulls you into a hug, wrapping his arms around you so tightly that you can’t move. You feel so secure, so safe. You can’t stop crying, wetting his shoulder from the tears. He rubs your lower back with his palm and your shoulder with his thumb, comforting you. You can feel him hesitate, but ultimately press a kiss into the top of your head. You melt into him. 

“It’s not his fault. I cheated on him. I know this, but I just… I should be sadder, Kei,” you say into his shoulder. 

“You’re sobbing, what do you mean?”

“I’m not sobbing because I broke up with Tadashi.” You’re treading on thin ice here, but your emotions are completely getting the better of you, pushing you forwards. “I’m sobbing because after he broke up with me, my chest felt lighter. After he broke up with me, the only thing I could think about was you and how I wouldn’t have to hide or lie anymore. He gave me a choice, Kei. He told me that if I left and came to your house that he was going to break up with me, that we were through.” You pause. “And look where I’m at now.”

Tsukishima is silent, his arms around you beginning to fall weakly off of your sides. 

“Fuck,” you breath, pulling away from him, sitting on the edge of his bed, and putting your face in your hands. “I was so good at hiding my feelings, Kei, suppressing them so fucking well, and then we spent that night together and- and I couldn’t get you out of my head again.” You grab a fistful of your own hair in frustration. “I mean, fuck.” You pick your head back up, tears slowing, resting your chin in your hands. 

He sits next to you but still doesn’t speak. You continue talking, scared of what will happen when the air settles around the conversation. “I was happy. I was content. I-,” you pause, “I didn’t have to sit and wonder if the guy that I’m in love with cared about me in a way that involved more than just sex.” You’ve said all that you could say. 

It’s quiet. The atmosphere is calmer than it was back at your house. You steady your breathing, not that it matters, because Kei’s next sentence knocks the wind out of you. 

“I wish I would’ve kissed you that night,” he admits to you, his voice low. “I’ve regretted it every day since you left. I thought that maybe, maybe if I would’ve kissed you, you would’ve stayed or- or you would’ve just known.”

“Known?” you ask, innocently. 

He exhales sharply, almost resembling a laugh. “Known that I was fucking in love with you.”

The tears that had started to subside came back with everything they had, your whole body wracked, shoulders heaving as he said those words. Even though he was sitting right next to you, he felt miles away. All you wanted was for him to wrap around you. You wanted to crawl into his lap, to feel his fingertips on your scalp again, to feel him give you any contact at all. 

You’ve thought about that night endlessly, spent hours awake remembering how he looked underneath you. Even after the thoughts of your incredible sex subsided, after they faded into the back of your mind, after you pushed them back there, you couldn’t get the look in his eyes out of your head. You kept watching them, replaying in your head, as they flickered to your lips and lingered, how they didn’t look hungry, but yearning. 

You don’t know how to reply, but you need to speak. You need to tell him something, anything, to remind him why you’re here in the first place, why you chose him overworking it out with Tadashi,  _ anything _ to get him to move closer to you and hold you. 

Or maybe you don’t need to speak. Maybe you don’t need to say anything to get him to move closer and hold you. He had just done the hard part. He told you that he was in love with you, or, that he  _ was _ in love with you. Was he still? 

You looked up at him, saw his head hanging like he’d made a mistake, his gaze stuck on the floor while he fiddled with his thumbs. You turn to him, nudging underneath his arm and crawling into his lap, exactly where you wanted to be. You sit in his lap, curled up in a small ball, tears still overflowing from your eyes. 

He doesn’t move for a minute, worry creeping up on you as he doesn’t react to you being in his lap, but then he wraps his arms around you and rests his chin on the top of your head. Your ear is pressed against his chest and you can hear the dull thumping of his heart. You time your breathing with it, your tears slowing as they synchronize. 

You’re aware of how little has been said since he confessed to you. You want to tell him something that will make him feel more at ease for having said it. “I wanted to kiss you too, that night. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.” It’s quiet again, but you know that he hears you. He tightens his grip in response, nuzzling his nose into your neck as he rests his forehead against your cheek. 

Kei turns you slightly so that you’re facing him, legs wrapped around his waist as he holds you up with strong arms behind your back. You’re staring into his eyes again like you were four months ago, but you’re not riddled with conflicting thoughts, you’ve never been more sure of anything in your life. 

Before you even start inching closer to him, Kei’s facial expression changes just slightly. “Can I ask?” He pauses, waiting for you to give confirmation for him to go on. When you do, he continues, “What finally did it? Why did you guys finally break up?”

You had told him that you guys had broken up, had come over his house at 3 in the morning sobbing, had told him that you chose him over Tadashi, but nowhere in your mind did you think that you’d have to tell him why exactly you broke up. You flush red recalling the events. It was somehow more embarrassing recalling them, about to say them aloud, than to actually have gone through them. “I- Well, I mean-,” you stutter over your words causing him to look confused. 

“You don’t have to tell me, for whatever reason, I know that we haven’t ta-,” he starts, but you interrupt him, shaking your head. 

“No, no. I want to tell you, Kei, but you… you can’t laugh.” Your eyes are pleading.

“Tch, well when you say that, you know I can’t promise such things.” You’ve missed his little tongue clicks.

You take a deep breath. “He was fucking me.” You take another deep breath, avidly avoiding Kei’s eyes and evidently piquing his interest. “And he hit that spot.” Your cheeks are burning as you take another breath to steady yourself. “And I said your name.” 

His jaw drops, head tilting to the side as he tries to conceal his cockiness, his disbelief, his bliss. You bury your face into his chest, the warmth of your cheeks worsening by the second. “You said my name while he was fucking you?”

“Kei, you don’t understand,” your voice is muffled by his shirt, “I hadn’t gotten off in so long, hadn’t felt like actual pleasure since that night, and so, and- and he-.” You’re stumbling over your words, but he doesn’t say anything. “He hit it on accident and I just couldn’t help it. It was slipping out of my mouth and I’ve never wanted to hide more.”

He leans back, pulling his chest away from your face as you look up at him. His head is tilted back and he’s laughing at the whole situation. “I told you that I couldn’t promise anything. Wow. He hit it by accident?”

You nod at his question. Nothing about this situation is funny, but seeing Kei laugh makes you start laughing. You want to feel worse about it, but it’s just the two of you in this secluded room and being with Kei for the first time in months, you feel truly happy again. You push him slightly, the corner of your mouth tugging upwards as you bury your face into his chest again. “Don’t be mean to me.”

Kei brings his hand under your chin, lifting your head until your gaze meets his. No matter how hard you try to avert it, he moves you to match it. He rubs small circles into your chin. It sends shivers through every part of your body. “I’m sorry. I’m not being mean. I’m flattered, really.” You melt into him, letting your chin form into his hand before looking at his lips so obviously that if he didn’t get the hint, you’d start crying again. 

He knows, of course, he knows, but he asks anyway. “Can I kiss you?” His voice is soft but audible. 

You nod gently, making sure not to disturb his hand on your chin, “Please.” He brings your face to his, carrying it with his fingertips before meeting it halfway. When his lips first touch yours, the first thing you notice is how different they taste from before. Without the sex driving the kiss, it felt less desperate, less like it  _ needs _ to happen and more like it is just supposed to happen. Your eyes flutter shut, your body threatening to start shaking if you don’t deepen the kiss. You need more of him. 

You place your hands on the sides of his face, pulling him closer, your face squished against his as much as it could be. This kiss was completely different in every aspect. You were no longer with Tadashi, this wasn’t just a meeting for a hookup. This was your best friend, who ( _ is? was? _ ) in love with you. The two words switch back and forth in your mind, asking if he is still in love with you. 

You pull away, much to your own dismay. His lips almost start to pout when you’ve pulled away until he sees how serious you are. You have to ask. You have to know. “Are you…” You pause, rewording the question, “You said that..” You take a breath. “That you were in love with me.” He turns red as he nods. “Is that… like, you were, but aren’t anymore? Or like you were and still are?” 

He blinks at you slowly, the red fading off of his face as a smile replaces his nervousness. He laughs, shaking his head and putting his lips back on yours. “I don’t think I could ever not be.” You not only hear the words but feel them against your lips. Your hands are back on his face, desperate to kiss him so hard that you can’t breathe. 

You roll off of his lap, your hands still on the sides of his face guiding you with him, pulling him on top of you. The kiss is still innocent enough, despite the position you find yourself in. He’s hovering over you, his hips directly above yours. You snake your legs around his waist, pulling him even closer into you. You open your mouth slightly, letting your tongue slip out and swipe against his lip, hoping with everything in you that he lets you in. 

You can tell how surprised he is to feel your tongue, but he lets you enter. Without the smashing of your teeth, the fighting of your tongues, you explore his mouth, running your tongue over his and the back of his teeth. You moan into his mouth as he places a hand on your hip, rolling up against him softly. You can feel him growing hard at the contact. He grunts as he rolls down against you in response. 

You move your mouth from his, kissing down his neck and sucking at the base. You were surprised at how much he reacted to this. All this time, he had abused and riddled your neck with marks and bruises, but he wanted them just as much. You bite into his soft skin, sucking on an area gently, running your tongue over it lightly, using your bottom lip to rub the spot as well. You pull at the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head and throwing it to the side. You run your hands down his chest, down his toned stomach, just feeling his skin as you nibble on his collarbones. Kei is moaning into your ear at the feeling. 

Your hands move down to his boxers, only the thin fabric separating his growing length and your hand. You palm him as you kiss his neck again. His breath stutters in your ear as he thrusts into your hand. You begin to start taking them off when he pulls away suddenly. You look up at him, confused and worried. “Kei?”

“(y/n),” he breathes, “I- I want this so badly. I want you so badly, but you literally just got out of a relationship an hour ago. I don’t want to take advantage of you or have you do something you’ll regret tomorrow.”

You shake your head, your eyebrows furrowed. “Please, Kei, I’ve waited so long to do this right. I know this isn’t ideal. I know what happened. I get it. I know, but… please. I want this,” you say, looking directly into his eyes. “I could never regret spending a night with you. I never have and I never will.” 

He mulls over the situation, thinking carefully before confirming again, “Are you sure?” 

You nod again. “Yes, yes, Kei. I’ve missed you so much in every way possible.”

He caresses your cheek with his hand, rubbing his thumb over your jawline. “Is this just a hookup?” The question stops everything in you. You pull his face back down to yours, kissing everywhere but his mouth as you repeat the word  _ no _ over and over again. 

“No, god, fuck, Kei, no. No. I want you so badly, but not just because you can make me come so fucking good, but because I want to be that close to you again. I want to feel you inside of me and I want you to hold me after.” You don’t know if the words you’re saying are too sappy, but they’re true and they work. Kei kisses you this time, pressing his lips against you hard, but not rough. 

“How have you survived these past months without me?” he asks. You giggle at the question, but then exhale, almost defeated.

“Barely, honestly,” you admit. “I’ve come twice by myself and they were the worst orgasms I’ve ever had.” 

“We’ll have to fix that, then, yeah, baby?” For some reason, the pet name makes you feel warm. He had called you it before, but it felt different now like he meant it more. The thought of him calling you baby outside of sex just added to the fire. You nod at him, resuming your kiss. As you’re building up the moment again, Kei pulls your shirt off, releasing your tits from your shirt and massaging them as he devours your tongue. 

You roll your hips against him again, feeling him almost completely hard already. You needed to feel his skin. You grabbed the waistband, gently tugging it down as far as you could from your position underneath him. You took his cock into your hand, stroking the rock hard length until you could feel even more blood rushing to it. Everything that you’re doing to him is getting a much bigger reaction than before, but you love it. You pull away from his mouth just long enough to spit into your hand, slicking his cock with the saliva, your fist gliding over it much easier now. 

Kei isn’t speaking, which is unusual, but you’re looking up at his face in the times when your lips are apart and you’re looking at the concentration on his face. It makes your heart flutter. “Pants off,” he says, but it’s not demanding. The short phrase is just  _ desperate _ . You move your hand from his cock to undo your own pants, sliding them off with your underwear. You wrap your fist back around his cock, but not before dipping your fingers into yourself, moaning softly at the contact. You use how wet you are to lubricate his cock, your fist moving faster now. When he sees you do so, hears how wet you are when you push your fingers inside of you, feels the wetness on his cock, he twitches, pulling your hand away and pinning it down on the bed. 

You look up at him, somewhat confused. He looks almost embarrassed. You pull him into another kiss, wrapping your legs around him, his cock brushing only slightly against your lips as he groans into your ear. He holds your hips in place, pushing you back onto the beg, unwrapping your legs from him. He owes you some sort of explanation, but he wasn’t going to give it to you without keeping you occupied. 

He reaches down, still towering over top of you, bracing himself with one hand. “I haven’t come since the last time we were together,” he explains, avoiding eye contact with you. “You ruined me too, I guess.” The words shake your entire being. You blink at him, eyes open without knowing what to say. 

Your mind is distracted as he rubs two fingers between your lips, curling them around your pussy, pressing into your hole ever so slightly. You want to grab his wrist and shove his fingers inside of you. You think if he did that, you might come on the spot. You missed his fingers so much, missed any part of him being inside you so much. He uses his thumb to rub your swollen clit, the small circles making your heart race. Seeing you underneath him, squirming and wriggling from the small movements, a cocky smile spreads over his face. He missed seeing you like this. 

All at once, he shoves his fingers in, your pussy completely swallowing them up to the knuckle, slamming into your g-spot with such purpose. You clench around his fingers. “Kei, fuck, again, please, just once more, again.” You can’t believe how pathetic you sound right now, asking him to do it once more, knowing it’ll push you over the edge with how little you’ve been pleased lately, with how dissatisfying your sex life had been. 

He listens to you, pulling his fingers nearly all the way out, and then slamming them back into you, pushing as hard as he can to get as deep as he can. His thumb hasn’t stopped messily flicking over your clit as he does so. You’re rolling your hips on his fingers as you come for the first time in months. These little movements shouldn’t have made you come so fast, but you couldn’t help it. His eyes are wide as he notices that you’ve already come. He rides you through your orgasm, pumping his fingers in and out of you quickly. When you’re finishing coming, he doesn’t stop, so fascinated by how quickly you’re getting there. Your pussy feels so sensitive already, but you can feel another wave of pleasure about to wash over you and you welcome it. He curls his fingers up, hitting your spot repeatedly with his long, slender fingers. He’s watching you the whole time, gaze strong as he slams his fingers in and out of you, inserting another finger right before you come. His fingers don’t make you feel nearly as full as his cock, but it’s a start. 

The pleasure from his fingers inside of you and his thumb on your sensitive clit are too much. The pressure building in your lower stomach releases all at once, spraying the bed beneath you as you scream out his name in repetition. He pulls his fingers out of you, using his entire hand to rub against your clit faster than anyone ever has as you finish coming. You’re sweating from how hard your body is clenching, your hands making fists into the sheet as tears blink from your eyes. 

You’re feeling even more sensitive, but Kei puts his fingers back inside of you. “Kei, Kei, I can’t, I can’t come again, fuck.” 

“You remember the rules, yeah?” he asks, making sure that you don’t actually want him to stop. You nod at him excessively, holding his wrist in place and rocking your hips on his fingers when he slows down to check. He smiles at you, continuing to finger you. You can see his arm start to shake. He hadn’t slowed down once since he started hammering his fingers into you and you’re so grateful for it. The continuous, never letting up, pleasure that he’s created makes your orgasm come even quicker than you think it’s going to. 

Just as you’re about to come for the third time, he removes his fingers and slips into you, grunting as he does so. You feel every inch fill you as he pushes into your tight hole, stretching even further for him as he hits the back of your walls. You gasp for air as you feel his complete length inside of you, rubbing against your walls. His hand is gone from your clit, but he’s penetrating you deeply. You come around him, gripping onto his cock like a fucking vice as you cry out. He thrusts into you and pulls out, looking obviously labored from how tight you’re clenching around him. He’s muttering a string of  _ fuck _ s as he does so. 

“Kei, fuck, thank you, thank you, fuck,” you mutter into his shoulder, running your fingernails down his back, wanting him closer, deeper. 

“You’re so tight, baby, fuck. You’re so tight and you’re all mine,” he says. There’s no mention of Tadashi, no nicknames that remind you of him, only saying things that are just the two of yours. After you’ve come, he slows his hips, fucking into you slowly, but hard, never breaking eye contact with you.

His hand is in your hair, using it to pull you on to him slowly. A small part of you was convinced that the only reason that you and Kei’s sex was so incredible was because it was rough and degrading and  _ hot _ and though it can be all those things, it doesn’t always have to be. You’re realizing very quickly that you don’t need Kei to fuck you really rough for you to enjoy it, for both of you to revel in it. 

His slow thrusts don’t last very long as his breathing starts getting quicker. His hips pick up speed again, pushing so deeply into you that he can feel every part of your pussy wrapped around him. His thrusts are getting messier, stuttering instead of keeping the perfect rhythm that he normally does. His arm is shaking to hold himself up.

“Fuck, (y/n), fuck, baby, fuck, I’m going to come. Fuck, fuck, will you come with me, baby? Will you come on my cock while I fill you? I need to feel you clenching around me, milking the cum that’s already coming out of my cock, coaxing more and more out until you can taste it, please, baby, fuck.” All of the dirty talk that he held back from during comes out in this moment. His words bring you right to the edge. Feeling his cock ache inside you, looking into his eyes as you nod helplessly letting the orgasm echo through your entire body. You can feel it in every part of you as you squeeze around him, doing exactly what he asked of you. 

He didn’t demand anything of you, only asked nicely, even throwing in a please. Even still, you wanted to do whatever he asked of you, especially if that thing was coming on his cock as he came inside of you. His cock is throbbing, pulsing with every slam into you, with every stream of cum that comes out of his cock as he fucks it into you. Your moans are straggled as you try to speak, to thank him for everything, to just say his name. He’s moaning into your ear, a murmur of dirty words and your name repeated over and over again. It’s mostly gibberish, except a “thank you” that slips out among the rest. You feel flush all over as he sloppily fucks into you for the last time. You feel the cum drip out of you as soon as he pulls out.

Despite how tired you feel, you know that you have to go clean yourself up so that you can actually sleep. You just assumed you would stay the night, but maybe that’s not what he’s expecting. You make your way to the bathroom, waving him off when he tells you to stay and that you can fix it tomorrow. You hear him in the other room, changing his sheets on the bed and getting dressed again. 

When you enter into his room again, having brushed your teeth with the toothbrush he still kept in his medicine cabinet, you see him pulling one of his old volleyball shirts out of his drawer, tossing it to you as you walked in the room. “For tonight. Figured it’d be better to sleep in than what you had on.” You smile, a warmth spreading from your chest to the tips of your fingers and toes. 

“Thank you, Kei,” you put the shirt on, taking in how soft it is and how much it smells like him. 

He climbs into the middle of the bed, keeping the covers thrown to the side for you to get into bed with him. He pats the bed beside him when you seem hesitant. You slowly make your way over, getting into bed. He throws the covers over top of you before turning onto his side, looking at you with sleepy, but happy eyes. 

“What?” you ask, the attention making you blush even harder. He shakes his head, not saying anything, so you ask again, “What?”

“Nothing,” he waves you off, pressing a kiss into the side of your head and flipping you so that your back is flush against his chest, snaking his arms around your waist. 

“Tsukishima Kei,” you flip back around, staring him in the eyes, “What?”

He laughs at how serious you are, moving a piece of hair out of your eyes and kissing your forehead. “I just think you’re pretty, that’s all.” Your eyes widen in surprise as you flip back over, pushing yourself back into him, hiding what a dark crimson your skin had turned. He laughs again at your reaction, his hand resting on your hip and massaging it as he kisses the back of your neck. 

He wraps his legs in yours, pulling you closer to him. You can feel his breath on your ear but you don’t mind. It’s silent for a moment, but despite how tired you are and how dark the room is, you can’t seem to sleep. Your eyelids feel heavy, but there are words that need to be said that haven’t been. “Kei?” you ask quietly, seeing if he’s still up. He hums into your back evidently awake from the response time but getting sleepier by the second. You place your hand on his, squeezing it gently as you turn back around to face him.

His eyes are shut, lashes fluttering softly at your movement before opening the tiniest bit. Your face is so close to his that it’s killing you not to kiss him right now, but you need to say it first. He needs to hear it first. 

“I love you, Kei.”

His eyes open wider now, he inhales slightly sharper than before, but a smile rests on his face. He leans forward, pressing his lips against yours for a moment before pulling away, a pout instantly forming on your face. “Hey,” you voice your concern, but he just raises his eyebrows. 

“Fine, fine, I won’t tell you that I love you too or that I’m so glad that everything happened the way it did despite how messy it was or that I want to fall asleep with you every night,” he says, shrugging, but pressing his lips back into yours again. He’s so good at everything he does. You want to keep kissing him, but more so, you want him to continue to tell you nice things. 

He spends the rest of the time that you’re awake telling you all of the things he’s never told you. You exchange secrets, you laugh, you kiss, you cry a little bit, you kiss some more, you kiss even more. Eventually, the sun peeks out from the horizon casting a bright, but soft pink, glow into Kei’s room. You press your face into his chest, hiding your eyes from the light at first, but then finding so much comfort in the contact, in the heartbeat. It calms you into a sleep. He massages his fingers into your scalp, petting and smoothing your hair. 

This entire time, everything you wanted was right there in front of you, but now you had it. 

“Goodnight, baby,” he says softly into your head, “I love you.”

Your heart beams. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading! i hope u loved it as much as i loved writing it! comments are cool if ya liked it and kudos are also cool if u liked it and don't have anything to say. ILY


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